We all have confidence in something. There is something that you do that comes easily or naturally to you. Even if it’s just being confident that you can tie your shoes, at least you can access the feeling of knowing you can do something with no stress or doubt. After all, there was a time in your life when you didn’t know how to tie your shoes and when you were put on the spot to do it by yourself, you probably didn’t feel very confident!
As we learn to do things and become more proficient in them, our confidence naturally increases. Sometimes, we have to fake it till we make it – but like anything, practice always makes us better! It also helps to think of people whose confidence you admire. Emulating their manner can help you feel it for yourself while you begin to build your own confidence in yourself.
Think about an area in your life where you would like to feel more confident. How would having more confidence help you in this area? How would your results or experiences improve if you had more confidence? What would be different for you?
As you are thinking about this, you will notice that your mind is creating images or thoughts of you acting and feeling confident. What does that look like? What would it feel like to be confident? Just be with the idea and image for a moment. Your mind can achieve anything that it conceive. If you can see it or feel it or think it – you can be it, do it and have it.
One way of increasing our confidence is to make a list of all the things we already do well. List your strengths. What are you good at? What comes naturally to you? Draw energy from these talents, strengths and qualities. Now, think of a time when you didn’t know how to do this thing that you now do well. For instance, maybe you are a terrific tennis player. There was a time when you were just learning and you probably struggled a bit. But as you learned, you improved. And that’s just it! Confidence never stops increasing. The more we learn, the more confidence we gain!
Another way to increase your confidence is to observe people who are confident. Notice the way they hold their body. How do they use their hands when they gesture. What’s the tone and pacing of their voice when they speak? What words do they use? How do they stand and walk and sit? Really think about this person and as you envision them, allow yourself to step into them – like you can slip inside their skin and adopt their physiology. Do that right now – stand up and hold your body like they do. Stand the way they do. Just close your eyes and feel what it’s like to be in that confident energy. You are just modeling this confident person, and letting your body get familiar with the physicality of it. Now, imagine that this is exactly the way that you feel naturally. What is possible for you from this place of confidence?
You can relax now. You know, confidence is really just self-acceptance and a self-trust. The fastest way to accept ourselves is through forgiveness. By forgiving ourselves for mistakes or shortcomings, we release the critical judgment that makes us feel so insecure. By simply saying to yourself, “Even though I feel nervous and insecure, I am still okay and I accept myself anyway,” we allow ourselves to be safe exactly where and how we are. This gives us the space to grow and expand. So, releasing self-judgment is where we want to start.
Our motivation will increase as our self-confidence grows as well because when we feel great about ourselves, we tend to want to put ourselves out there in the world in a bigger way!