Do you wonder why things do not seem to normally work out for you? Is there a pattern? There is a phrase in the counseling world called Center of Locus, which I’ve introduced before to you. Whether your locus of control exists inside or out, or if this perspective is healthy, is key to your success or lack thereof in your life ventures.
Wikipedia.com explains, “Locus of control refers to the extent to which individuals believe that they can control events that affect them… A person's "locus" (Latin for "place" or "location") is conceptualized as either internal (the person believes they can control their life) or external (meaning they believe that their decisions and life are controlled by environmental factors which they cannot influence, or by chance or fate).
Individuals with a high internal locus of control believe that events in their life derive primarily from their own actions: for example, when receiving test results, people with an internal locus of control would tend to praise or blame themselves and their abilities, whereas people with an external locus of control would tend to praise or blame an external factor such as the teacher or the test.”
To me this really comes down to how healthy you are in respect to accountability. If you feel you are accountable for everything (even those things that are realistically out of your control) then you are setting yourself up for failure (you’re to hard on yourself) and you need to embrace the Serenity Prayer. You know, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference…”
If you believe you are unhappy today because of others who’ve made choices that have negatively impacted you, you’re external locus of control is sabotaging you. It is time to step up and take ownership of your life, quit complaining about what others have done and start doing something to manifest positive change and self-fulfillment. Although we have support systems, ultimately, we walk an individual spiritual journey and, as adults, we are the only ones responsible for our own happiness.
If you can achieve a healthy perspective of accountability to the things you have control over in life (your well being) you will nurture growth and ultimately success!
You need to get out of your own way in order to embrace your core happiness.