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Keeping a man happy is an entirely different sport than it is for a man to keep a woman happy. The rules are different and to be honest, it's quite easy with most men. Whereas a woman is more like the complex and forever boggling Rubik's Cube, men are more like a cactus. They need a little attention every now and again, mostly just to be sexed up; and you have to be careful not to get pricked by there attitudes when they aren't getting what they need.
They do still express and receive love and attention in the basic way a woman will; through a mix of favors, physical expression or money gifts.
A favor is an act of kindness. It is something someone will do to show loyalty, commitment and consideration. Favors typically include cooking, cleaning or doing your laundry.
Physically expressing your love includes but is certainly not limited to sex. It can be anything from snuggling closely on the couch, holding hands, kissing, spooning when you sleep together and leading up to the obvious; making love.
A money gift is the act of someone providing pleasure or showing gratitude that involves an exchange of cash. This usually includes buying flowers or chocolates, taking you to dinner or a movie or taking you for a weekend getaway.
The most common problem in a relationship is miscommunication. While you are cooking and cleaning to show love and appreciation your man is trying to kiss you and have sex with you all the time. You feel unappreciated and used because the physical expresser is ignoring you all day in the computer room and watching sports; then trying to kiss all over you and get you into bed. The physical expresser is feeling rejected, unloved and denied because they are rarely getting touched or having sex. It's a viscous cycle.
Men are very different. They express love mostly through money gifts, but most men recognize and accept love through physical expressions. The biggest thing a woman needs to work on to do her part in creating a successful relationship is increasing her libido. Learn to let loose and physically express your love at least once a week. You would be surprised how much one sex session a week will completely change a mans demeanor. The following are some tips on how to achieve just that.
Exercise! Most people shutter at the thought. This isn't the type of exercise that requires you to spend
hundreds of dollars for a membership at your local gym. It also isn't the type where you are desperately trying to fit the two hours four days a week into your schedule to beat yourself up physically. Just taking a brisk walk for 20 minutes two to three times a week will start to work wonders on building your physical confidence. As your confidence grows you will start to feel sexier and you may even be surprised when you start adding longer walks, start walking more often or even start adding completely new exercises into your routine. Starting out slow is the key here. You don't want to do the opposite and start walking for an hour five days a week and after two weeks become so frustrated you give up and hate yourself even more. (For great indoor exercises you can do in the privacy of your home click here)
If you often feel depressed seek help. Depression will wear down on your confidence and as a side effect of not loving yourself, you will not let others in. Start seeing a therapist and if severe enough talk to your therapist about possible medications to help you on the path of seeing yourself in the same beautiful way other people see you. If you do consider medication, specifically ask your doctor for one that does not have sexual side effects! We are trying to increase your libido here; not get you happy and cause your sex drive to die completely. (To test your depression levels & see if you are unknowingly at risk click here)
Start masturbating more often. Chances are if you haven't been doing that once or twice a week than you've really lost your drive. The loss in the interest of an orgasm, whether with your partner or alone, is a huge sign that your sex drive is low.
Start experimenting with things that make you feel sexy. Wear sexy underwear, sexy bras, sexy shoes; walking around all day knowing that you have on crotchless underwear and no one else has a clue can be very arousing. Shop for a new scent, go to your local make-up counter and request a make-up consultation (Dillard's is wonderful), go to your local spa and have your "lady area" waxed completely nude (called a Bare Brazilian)! All of these things will get you in touch with your femininity, sexuality and will make you feel good. (For sexy clothes, scents, shoes, lingerie & make-up click here)
Start getting in the habit of surprising your partner with sex once a week. Get to them right when they walk in the door. This works best because it is before they have the chance to open there mouths and ruin your mood. Greet them at the door wearing a teddy, a sheer robe, just your undergarments or if you are very courageous, completely naked! Building the habit of slightly forcing yourself to get in the mood at least once a week will eventually increase your libido. The more you start having sex and enjoying it the more you will want to have it. (To give your man proper tips on what to do to get you in the mood click here)
Reminisce. Instead of thinking of all the terrible things your partner has said and done over the years and how his six pack has turned into a six pack of bowling balls or how his back has more hair on it than his head, try to remember how hot you felt about him before. Try and think of all the romantic and sexy things he used to do. Think about the last truly romantic thing he did and try to physically remember the feeling it gave you. When you look at your man try and see who you know he is underneath. What you see today is just the crusty shell that life builds around people. If you take the time to remember his soul and inspire the outer layers to peal away, you will eventually end up with the man you remember and you yourself may turn back into the woman you have always been on the inside.
On a last note, it is impossible for one person in a two person relationship to do all the work and expect results. If you feel your relationship is worth saving and you want both parties to work towards improvement, point your man in the direction of this article, "Put the spark back in your relationship: tips for men." Click here to be directed to that page when ready.
It is also suggested that if communication between partners seems impossible or near impossible to improve that you both seek relationship counseling. Having an unbiased third party can help you stay on track with your arguments and work on your deep rooted issues.
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