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Just how 'perverted' is gay sex?

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Last week, the new Bachelor, Juan Pablo Galavis, made a comment in an interview to the effect that being gay is perverted. Actually, his exact words were "There's this thing about gay people — it seems to be, I don't know if I'm mistaken or not — I have a lot of friends like that, but they're more pervert in a sense." (Quote from New York Daily News)

He has since apologized profusely for what ABC network termed “thoughtless and insensitive” comments that do not reflect their own views. Still, I found it disappointing because I don’t usually watch The Bachelor. In fact, the only one I’ve seen prior to this season was with pilot Jake Pavelka. I was pulled into this season because Juan Pablo seemed like such a genuine and sweet guy. He probably still is, but now I know he’s not perfect and has a few things to learn along his journey in this life, such as….

Just how perverted is gay sex?

The answer may surprise you. It’s no more perverted than heterosexual sex. Allow me to explain. “Perverted” sex is subjective. It all depends on what people like to do with each other and have done to themselves. Perhaps Juan Pablo meant to imply that two men together or two women together are a perversion not meant to be. Why? Because they can’t procreate? I’ll buy the fact that they can’t biologically procreate with each other, but here’s the thing. People have sex for more reasons than procreation and it doesn’t matter whether they’re gay or straight. People have sex to express their love, to feel good, for the heat of the moment, for a good cardio workout (okay, that’s really a secondary benefit), and because it just seems the natural thing to do with someone you both love and desire.

To argue that sex is only for procreation is an argument dead in the water before it even begins.

Is it perverted because men shouldn’t have anal sex or oral sex? Prepare yourself. Heterosexual men enjoy oral sex and also anal sex. Yep! Straight men enjoy a finger, a butt plug, a dildo, a vibrator, and even a strap-on in their anuses. Such has been happening in bedrooms around the world for thousands of years (and more), and it might be labeled a person’s particular brand of kink, but it’s not perverted.

So is it maybe the thought of two women together without a penis present? Is that perverted? Naw! I have it on good authority (from not only speaking with many women, but also being a woman, myself) that the ladies enjoy oral sex, too. They also are the number one purchasers of vibrators, dildos, strap-ons, finger vibes, remote control panties, various lubes and glides, and so much more. Oh yea. Many women enjoy a little anal play, too. This is, by the way, heterosexual women of whom I’m referring. So is this love-play between man and woman perverted? Absolutely not! And it’s no different than what two women together in bed might indulge in.

So if men and women, women and women, and men with men are all doing pretty much the same thing, what, exactly, is perverted about it? Why is it perverted for the gays and not the straights?

I hear someone grabbing their bible out of the drawer. Ah, yes. Leviticus. One of the many contradictions in the bible that can be countered by other arguments. Let’s knock that one down, too, shall we? If God created all the beasts of the earth (before mankind), and beasts were meant to be only with their own species for the purposes of procreation, then there’s some ‘splainin’ to do, Lucy. Scientifically speaking, according to LiveScience, “homosexuality has been documented in over 450 species.” My favorite story of gay wildlife is about two flamingos named Carlos and Fernando who lived at the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust in the UK. Carlos and Fernando were completely accepted by the flock and they also became foster parents to two flamingo chicks. They did such a great job that when an abandoned egg was brought to the trust, the staff gave it to the gay birds who successfully cared for and raised the chick. (Read Carlos and Fernando’s story here)

So if the religious-minded can agree that God creates all creatures large and small, and that God has a purpose for every creature and every thing, then it should follow that questioning that creature, that thing or its purpose is to question God and to infer that God made a mistake. I don’t know about you, but unless J.C. comes down from the heavens and personally tells me I must hate and ridicule and revile anyone who is gay, then I’m not going to do it. And even if he did, I’d still refuse because I’m just not about hating anyone. I’m not worried about it, either, since I know love, tolerance, and acceptance is the message. J.C. was a pretty radical hippie in his time.

But back to Juan Pablo and his off-the-cuff remark that he blamed on his not-so-great command of the English language (nice try, buddy). His comment was in response to a question about whether or not America is ready for a gay bachelor or bachelorette. That’s a tough one and I’ll tell you why.

With the election of our first black president, we have since seen every single ugly bigot that has been living under a rock come out and spew all kinds of hatred. And we’re fifty years past the civil rights march! If we haven’t managed to eradicate hatred based on the color of a person’s skin in fifty years, we’re not going to be much more successful in eliminating hatred of a person’s sexuality at the dawn of their own manifestation of civil rights that is beginning state by state now. I can’t say we’re not ready for it or that we’re ready for it, but I can say that more and more people every day are waking up and realizing that discriminating based on sexual orientation is wrong. Gay love is no different than straight love when you get down to the mechanics of it. It’s simply love. It’s based on consent just like straight relationships.

And before someone decides to compare it to true criminal acts like bestiality and pedophilia, let’s just define the difference. An adult having sex with an animal or with a child is a criminal act where that adult imposes his/her will onto an innocent being without the consent only an adult in complete possession of his/her faculties can give. Consent. Two adults in love choose to be with each other by consent whether gay or straight so it’s not the same thing at all.

So there you have it. Gay sex is no more “perverted” than straight sex. What some people choose to do in the privacy of their own relationships in their own homes is nobody’s business, and we’d all be worse for the wear if we suddenly knew what turns on our friends and neighbors, elected officials, and even clergy. Let’s just keep that bedroom door closed, shall we, and respect the privacy of all.

Michele Gwynn is a freelance journalist and author living in San Antonio, Texas. All articles are under copyright and may not be reposted in part or whole without consent. Articles may only be referenced by title or subject matter with a direct link to original material otherwise. For permission to repost part or all of an article, please contact Ms. Gwynn at megwynn@msn.com.

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