Conversion is very rarely a one shot deal. And even 'one shot deals' need reenforcement in 'second' conversions. Honest Catholics, moreover, will witness to many 'second' conversions. But without making excuses, God foresaw this dilemma and saved us (and saves us daily) through the Cross of a very real and very Sorrowful Suffering. Therefore, the reality of true and lasting conversion is found in the paradoxical joy of admitting personal spiritual bankruptcy in the face of the riches of Divine Mercy.
But this will take more Peter and less Judas.
"...established as Son of God in power according to the Spirit of holiness through resurrection from the dead, Jesus Christ our Lord."
Accordingly, our humanity, our personal sanctification, our very life in God, comes from the human nature perfected by Jesus Christ through His Sorrowful Passion, tragic death, and Resurrection--in the Love of the Father--in the faith which believes in apostolic witness. But our holiness doesn't come 'scott free' just because Jesus died 'for' us! Holiness, salvation, joy, and the means to it all in virtue, comes from our participation in Jesus' Cross born Way!
No sacrifice, no holiness.
"Through him we have received the grace of apostleship, to bring about the obedience of faith, for the sake of his name, among all the Gentiles, among whom are you also, who are called to belong to Jesus Christ..." Romans 1:1-7
We may not all be apostles, but we can all be apostolic--and we are baptized into the apostolate which seeks the Will of the Father in the Gethsemane Spirit of Jesus (strengthened in the Eucharistic Lord). But what is the truly Apostolic Spirit? This is the Spirit of the Holy Trinity, the Love of the Father and the Son for each other, which has animated Christ's Body and Bride for over two thousand years, and gives birth to, and Mother's, saints who witness (even as a martyr) to Christ through the eventual pain and death all uncompromising Truth brings.
But the suffering really covers an internal joy, unparalleled!
"Sing to the LORD a new song...He has remembered his kindness and his faithfulness toward the house of Israel." Psalm 98:1-4
There is no greater joy than in being forgiven; forgiven by the One who truly makes yesterday forgotten and today the beginning of a brand new, and meaningful, life. For only in God, as made manifest in Jesus, can we find joy and meaning in everything, even our sufferings. For God is good (and faithful), all the time!
But this Way, or narrow path, of paradoxical joy must be chosen.
"This generation is an evil generation; it seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it, except the sign of Jonah." Luke 11:29-32
Salvation depends on unchanging Truth. Truth #1: we will sin. Truth #2: God is always there to forgive us. Truth #3: We can choose as Judas did, to despair and deny the Mercy of God, or as Peter did, and repent with a broken and empty heart. For Truth #4 is all about our freedom in the face of the Mercy and Justice of God. For God respects our freedom so much that He will Lovingly forgive all our sins, or Justly allow us to deny ourselves the salvation He so Sorrowfully suffered to bring each and every one of us.
Judas or Peter, whom do you choose?