Three GOP leaders could end the government shutdown and assuage the fear of a debt ceiling default within hours by calling for an up or down vote on a clean funding bill, but Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-Ohio) lacks the courage, Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virg.) hasn’t a heart and poor Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) can’t find his brain.
The problem is that GOP leadership has been hijacked by a frightening band of flying (metaphorical) Tea Party monkeys. The head monkey is Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) and they are cheered on by an evil witch named Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.).
What has the TP monkeys so riled up? They don’t like the wizard in the White House. They don’t like his intelligence, they don’t like his popularity, they don’t like his color and they hate his law that would bring health care to all the people of the land.
Boehner worries about losing his job, but no longer gets emotional in public by wiping tears away with his tail eh, handkerchief, because he finds cursing more effective with the red-necked, bible-thumping, birthers and bigots known as Tea Party constituents.
During the 2011 sequester fight, Boehner told Senate Democrats to “get off your ass” in an effort to bully them into doing what Republicans wanted and four days into the 2013 government shutdown, Boehner bellowed, “this isn’t some damn game!”
The brash behavior by Boehner is geared to pass for the courage he lacks in doing the right thing for the people of the land, which would be to call for a vote without attaching unrelated demands to gut health care.
Boehner has also become good at mocking the wizard, which is something else that goes over big with TP monkey extremists.
This week, Boehner gathered all his fleeting courage to mimic wizard Obama after a meeting over the shutdown:
"’I'm not going to negotiate. I'm not going to negotiate. I'm not going to do this,'” whined Boehner in a childish attempt at mockery.
“They won’t even sit down and talk with us,” complained Boehner, clearly directing his message to the unreality bubble that exists for ultra-radical TP monkeys and conservatives, since good witch Sen. Patty Murray (D-Wash.) had requested meetings on the bill 18 times.
Flying Tea Party monkeys and wimpy, hypocritical, GOP leaders are less popular with the people of the land than head lice, but they don’t seem to care. It’s like watching moths fly toward an open flame knowing the gerrymandering of their districts will keep them safe from political destruction for the near future.
But wizard Obama and his merry band of Democrats have the good of the people at heart…and good always triumphs over evil.