Jodi Arias testifies she wrote in diary ‘I wish suicide was a way out’

On Mar. 4, 2013, on the first day of redirect, Jodi Arias continued testified at her murder trial by reading excerpts from her diary written when she was in a relationship with slain Ariz. man, Travis Alexander. At one point she read from an entry that expressed her wish to die.

According to ABC News, Arias testified that she tore certain pages out of her diary that contained negative comments she made about her former lover, Alexander, and said she had been suicidal.

View slideshow: Nude Photos of Jodi Arias and Travis Alexander, Believed to Have been Taken the Same Day he was Murdered

Arias’ attorney, Kirk Nurmi, is attempting to rehabilitate his client on the stand after a grueling week of cross-examination by aggressive prosecutor Juan Martinez, who used diary entries to try and demonstrate Arias never made note of Alexander abusing her as she claimed.

“Who besides yourself had access to your journals?” asked Nurmi.

View slideshow: Photos of Jodi Arias and Travis Alexander, the Former Boyfriend She Admits Killing, Saying She Was Forced to Do So

She replied, “…Travis would read them… There was the potential that Travis could read something in there, and also the biggest reason was the law of attraction, which was a huge philosophy at that time in my life.”

View slideshow: Graphic Crime Scene Photos in Jodi Arias Case

Arias later read a diary entry to the jury, in which she wrote, “I don’t understand it and at times have a hard time believeing it. He makes me sick and happy, makes me feel sad and miserable, and makes me feel uplifted and beautiful. I shuldn’t be wording it as if he makes me feel those things. It all originates from within. All of my darkness if fruit of my own creation, it originates within.”

Arias read another entry, which said, “I just wish I could die. I wish that suicide was a way out but it is no escape. I wouldn’t feel any more pain.”

Nurmi also questioned Arias about her love for Alexander to counter Martinez’s argument she lacked remorse for killing her former boyfriend by writing a “loving note” in the memorial book at his funeral.

“Well I still had love for him, yes, and, I was thinking now more in terms of eternity,” said Arias.

Nurmi asked if she loved him the day before his death, on the day she killed him, and if she still loves him. To all three questions she responded, “Yes, it’s still true.”

Prosecutors argue Arias, 32, killed Alexander, 30, in cold blood as he showered in his Mesa home in 2008. He was stabbed 27 times, his throat was slashed, and he was shot in the head. After initially lying about his death, she admitted killing Alexander, but claims she did so in self-defense.

Recommended articles:

· Jodi Arias murder trial focuses on sex with slain man Travis Alexander

· Jodi Arias testifies she ‘felt like a prostitute’ after sex with Alexander

· Accused murderer Jodi Arias admits lying about killing Travis Alexander

· Could aggressive style of prosecutor Juan Martinez bode well for Jodi Arias?

· Jodi Arias accuses prosecutor of scrambling her ‘brain’ by ‘screaming’

· Jodi Arias cries in court as bloody photo of Travis Alexander shown to jury

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, Crime Examiner

Cindy Adams is an experienced freelance writer who has a Juris Doctor in Law.

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