Stedman Graham makes a living motivating others and working effectively with groups to inspire them to be better selves. The best-selling author spoke before a standing-room-only Detroit audience to deliver his message of success at the Reinvent Your Future 2010 seminar, which also stressed Rethink Education, Recharge Career.
Down to earth throughout, while also humorously acknowledging his past fiancée, Oprah Winfrey, Graham, 59, spoke of her success as a media giant.
"Yes, in addition to many other things, I am also in a relationship with a very powerful woman," he said. "But don't define me by my relationship; I can't let you get away with that!"
Graham, originally from New Jersey and now the CEO of the Chicago-based marketing and consulting firm S. Graham & Associates, presents a stirring talk in a call-and-response format.
By repeating the steps so effective in his best-selling Nine-Step Success Process and trademark self-examination book, "You Can Make It Happen," he surprisingly refers to his original inspiration for success: revenge.
Growing up being teased as the sibling of two disabled brothers, he longed for more education. One day, he shared his early teen dream of going to college with his childhood role model, the lone area storeowner. Graham, however, was taken aback by the uncharacteristic reply he received. The man laughed at him, calling him "too dumb" to be able to make it to college. He refers to it as his "defining moment."
"I went from being sad at that, to mad, then determined," said Graham. If someone has your mind, he explains, they have you, so it is imperative to "be conscious of your thinking."
Basketball, he says, saved him, by helping to provide him with self-esteem. He served in the military, received first a bachelors then masters degree, and worked in a Denver prison for five years before entering the business world to motivate others. In between, he returned to the storeowner's and proved he had, indeed, earned that college education.
Graham encourages people to value their freedom.
"You can be a slave or an owner; what your place is on the plantation depends on your own mindset," he said. "Learn to control that. Freedom is on the inside, but you have to take it because who you are is where your power is."
Start with self-awareness by digging deep - along with having a vision - through organizing yourself within a comfort zone. Plan education around that, then key into your passion, says Graham. Be authentic, but humble, such as treating a homeless man the same as you would the U.S. president.
Make a plan, allowing room to always develop and grow, working harder than average. That, he says, involves a positive attitude with great energy so the world will open up to you. Overcome your fears, and "stay in the game by controlling your reaction to change."
Graham suggests you build a team of supportive relationships, while sustaining a fire in your belly to continue your motivation and maintain the energy level.
"If you create the highest possible standards, the world will beat a path to your door," he said.
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