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Jesse Ventura continues to embarrass Minnesotans with defamation suit

We Minnesotans have to tolerate being the butt of many a joke. If people are not mocking our accents or our hot- dish cuisine, they’re asking how we could be dumb enough to endure year after year of our brutal winters. But this author would rather sit through a four- hour marathon of Ole and Lena jokes before having to be reminded of the dumbest decision that we ever made, electing Jesse Ventura for Governor.

Many political figures make fools of themselves while they are in office, but at least have the decorum to fade into the background after they serve their terms. Not Ventura, he has decided to turn up like a bad penny at every possible chance for a place in the limelight, never letting us recover from our ill-advised votes in a failed attempt to try to change politics as usual.

Most of Ventura’s antics can be laughed off, or better yet simply ignored, but his newest stunt is in such bad taste that it is truly offensive. In case you haven’t heard, Ventura is suing Chris Kyle, author of the best-seller, “American Sniper: The autobiography of the most lethal sniper in U.S. military history.”

Ventura has filed a ten million dollar defamation suit over the following dispute; Chris Kyle was interviewed on television regarding a story he told in the book. According to Kyle’s book, Kyle and some fellow veterans were at a bar after coming from a funeral for one of their friends, Michael Monsoor. According to an article in the Washington Post, Master at Arms 2nd Class Michael Monsoor was serving in Ramadi, Iraq in 2006 when he sacrificed his own life to save the lives of other Navy SEALs and Iraqi soldiers by smothering a grenade. He was decorated posthumously with a medal of honor. Kyle and his friends were mourning the death and celebrating the life of this man at a bar after the wake.

An obnoxious guy at the bar (who Kyle referred to as “Scruff Face” in his book,) was talking about the Iraq war and saying that we never should have been there. He said that President Bush was stupid to send us into this war and implied that the American soldiers who served there were nothing more than murderers of women and children. This guy continued to rant about this throughout the night. Chris asked the obnoxious guy to keep it down, adding that this group of men had lost friends in this war, indeed they had just returned from a funeral . Scruff Face responded that they probably deserved to lose a few. According to Kyle, the obnoxious guy was also displaying aggressive body language, suggesting that he wanted to fight Kyle. Kyle said he thought the obnoxious guy was about to lunge at him, so he responded by punching the obnoxious guy in the face and walking away. In the book, Kyle did not reveal who the obnoxious guy was, but later in television interviews he confirmed people’s suspicions that it was Jesse Ventura.

As a result of these television interviews, Ventura is now suing Kyle for defamation, not because Kyle pointed out how stupid, obnoxious and disrespectful Ventura was to the veterans, but because Ventura says Kyle never punched him! So the conversation basically goes like this:

“You’re a meany so I hit you in the face.”

“Liar, liar pants on fire. I wasn’t even there. Besides, sticks and stones can break my bones but you can’t because I’m a tough guy and nobody hits me ever. Even if they do, I aint’ got time to bleed.”

I think the correct response from Kyle would be- “Yeah, well you smell bad and your Mom dresses you funny.”

Oh but did I mention, the defendant cannot respond to Ventura’s 4th grade insults because CHRIS KYLE IS DEAD. Yes, that’s right, Kyle died tragically after being shot while he was trying to mentor a man who had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For more on this story, see the following link-
abcn.ws/1mKM8qR

So how did our illustrious former governor react to this news? Most of us would have said something like, “Mrs. Kyle, I’m sorry for your loss,” or “I deeply regret if I ever offended your husband or any other veterans who served their country with honor,” or even with respectful silence. Instead, our ever illustrious former governor responded by suing Kyle’s widow in an attempt to cash in on the proceeds from his best-selling book.

Chris Kyle’s widow, Taya, has described her husband as a humble man. She also said that he wrote the book not in the hopes of making money for himself, but to earn money that could be donated to fellow veterans. Kyle’s book is currently in the process of being rewritten as a screenplay. Clint Eastwood will direct the movie adaptation of Kyle’s best-seller. Taya has been told the regardless of the results of the Ventura defamation case, it will probably not be featured in the movie because the story is not integral to the message of the book, but was rather a three page anecdote.

Jesse Ventura has claimed that Kyle’s story of punching him has affected Ventura’s image, resulting in less high paying television jobs being offered to the former Governor and WWF wrestler.

By the way Jesse, if your new method of padding your wallet is to continue in these defamation suits against writers, don’t waste your time thinking about suing this author, there’s no money here. In addition, since you’ve chosen to wage war at the 4th grade level, may I end this article on two notes:

#1. You’re a doo-doo head.

#2. 1987 called, it wants the lame pony-tail look back.

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