Welcome back my Jersey peeps. It's Monday and that means it's time for your weekly dose of Jersey. I know, I know it's like watching a train wreck with lots of big hair and bright clothes, but for some reason, we love to watch it. We know it's bad for us, but ya just gotta do it! All right let's get down to business....
This week Gayle and Alexa finally have the fight we have all been dying to see. I mean they have argued before but last weeks preview promised us a big melt down and you know what.....they freakin' lied. It was like watching two old hens with big boobs and lots of hair and make up peck at each other. Bishes please, we were looking for the knock down Jersey fight and we got a Kansas City hoe down.
It all began like every other day at the Gatsby, with Alexa assaulting a client with a make-up brush, you know, doing her smokey eye. That's nothing new, except this time the client was a senior citizen. Apparently Alexa, who hates kids, doesn't like the elderly either, because she made this woman look like a 70 year old hooka. This delights the obviously far sighted woman, who tells Gayle that she feels like a kid again. Hey I can see it, I have a 3 year old and she has gotten a hold of my make up and created the same look. Gayle has fire shooting from her eyes and all she can manage is 'You look different, you look like Alexa'. Ouch, touche my friend, touche. What's up Gayle, you don't like it when senior citizens leave the Gatsby looking like they just got off the pole? This is Jersey baby, you've seen Kim G work the pole.
Even with the whole hooka/smokey eye debacle Gayle and Alexa decide they will do a combination event at the assisted living community, which we all now is just a nightmare waiting to unfold. The event will be called Ageless Glam, Alexa and Olivia will do the make up, Tracy,Gigi, and Anthony will do the hair.
Oh and really, who argues over flyers? Gayle and Alexa, that's who, Alexa want's flyers, Gayle doesn't. Shocker. Why don't they just fight it out Jersey style? Gayle can flip a table scream 'Prostitution Whouuur' and then it's over. That would be too easy, so no instead lets fight over flyers.
Now either Alexa is the dumbest human being on earth or she was trying to kill Gayle by inducing a brain aneurysm, but she brings an assistant to do hair with her to Ageless Glam. If that isn't bad enough when asked who was in charge, Alexa raises her hand. Sweet baby Jesus, Gayle's face almost melted off of her skull. Then come the flyers, oh hell yeah Alexa had flyers made up, and at the very bottom in tiny letters is the Gatsby Salon. Oh guuurrrllll, it is on.
They take it to the parking lot and we think that something huge is going to happen, but it doesn't. Alexa and Gayle decide for the 100th time that they can't be partners anymore. Ok, whatevs, see you both next week.
On a good note Christy has her baby after a horrible labor. Truth be told, there is no other kind, and it's a baby.....GIRL! Yeah congrats to you, now please keep that poor baby out of the Gatsby. Alexa may try to use her as a human sacrifice.
Then there is Olivia, who wants to get her self some new boobage. She's been saving and sacrificing for this day. The day when she can say good-bye to the chicken cutlets in her bra. She is all about the excess in the chest. So off she goes....only to run out the door still wearing her hospital dress. Hey at least she was nice enough to yell 'Charge me for the dress.'
So that was another day in Jersey, was it everything you dreamt it would be? See you next week for another day in the life of Jerseylicious.
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