Well, what can I say. Tonight was Bad, Bad, Bad Bad. Michael Bolton crawling out of a dog house bad! The biggest grenade of tonight was this damn show. What has happened to beloved Jersey Shore craziness? Hell lets just get this over with, I have wine to finish......
Things we Love
Pauly D-Best line of the night. Grenades can go off at any time. Safety first....Always looking out for others. What a guy!
The Bye Bye Angelina Celebration! Lobsta anyone? Love the fact that Snookie and Jwoww were horrified by the fact that the lobsters were alive. I will let you girls in on a lil' secret. Hamburgers walked at one time.
Saving Charlie the Lobsta......And then killing him by hiding him in a bowl of tap water. Pure Gold.
Vinnie-Vincenzo, you are smiling again this week and no red keg cup. All is right with the world.
The fact that there is someone who can get even more drunk than Snooks. This is a shocking discovery but Snooki's friend can actually get more drunk that Snooki. Up until tonight I thought that meant you were dead but Snookis friend Ryder has proved me wrong....Reach for the stars girl!
The drinks that Snooks and Ryder were drinking. I really could have used about 7 of those as I watched this show tonight.
Table Dances....I don't think I have to elaborate.
And For The Third Week In A Row......No Sammi and Ronnie Love Fest!!!! Round of applause and 2 fist pumps for MTV.
Things We Hate
Sammi, she is just foolish. She hates Jwoww because Ronnie was cheating on her and Jwoww told her. Now I am not Dr.Phil but shouldn't she be mat at Ronnie? Keep fist pumpin' Ronnie you will get yours!
Vinny and Ramona The Geography Teacher. AGAIN...Dude please stop begging. You are making my ears bleed and slowly killing my liver as I consume more and more wine.
Ramona finally shows up and she and Vinny go to the beach where Ramona gives us all a geography lesson about Romania. It is shaped like a fish and over here. Awesome. Thank you for clearing that all up. Smart as a whip that one. Vinny was happy though so she may redeem herself if she continues to be nice to Vincenzo.
Michael Sorrentino- There was nothing likable about Michael tonight. Beginning with the ugly vest that Mikey continues to insist on wearing,to acting like a serial rapist at a club, slapping Snooks mouth, and ending with the attempted robbery of Ramona. Oh and lets not forget the fact that he kept calling himself the daddy of the house. He makes the rules, he rounds everyone up, blah...blah...blah.... You acted like a punk ass beyotch tonight. The only think this has earned you Michael is the DB of the night award. You sucked donkey tonight...
Things that make you go hmmmm....
The fact that Ronnie has once again deflected any type of blame regarding THE NOTE. I am beginning to wonder...Could..Ronnie..Actually...Have...A...Brain??? Every time the note comes up he is able to worm his way out and get Sammie to be mad at JWOWW. He may just be and evil genius. Stop laughing! At this point in the game I tip my hat to you Ronnie. Nicely played my friend. Nicely played!
Snookie and Ryder's eating and drinking habits as well as the grunting issue. They eat and drink anything. Rubbing alcohol, peanut butter, and used toilet paper? Sounds good, throw it in the blender. I thought I was going to vomit. Gross, really just gross. And what is going on with the grunting thing? Tip to MTV next week subtitles when Snookarooney and Ryder are speaking. Thanks.
Do you WHAT before you go to the club? Master what? In the name of all that is holy, this is one visual that the world could do without.
Mikes secret obsession with Vinny. Why does he need to try and steal all of Vinny's women?Oh yeah, maybe it's because you SLEPT WITH HIS SISTER! Just some food for though.
Mike kissing Snooks! Oh holy hell. There are just somethings that should just never happen, like another season of DC Housewives,Michael Bolton dancing, and Snooks and the Situation hooking up. All of these things are bad, serial killer bad and should be avoided at all costs.
Well that's all there is and there aint anymore. This week sucked with a capital S! Please turn it around next week kids. Don't make me miss what's her face!
Next week looks like more of the Situation being a Jerk Off and ....... Well that about sums it up.
Until next week, keep your fist pumpin' and your Tshirt time alive! See ya!
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