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Jealousy Rears Its Ugly Head

I am just going to be completely honest right now...

I am jealous. I am such a jealous person. I am jealous of my friends, family, people I don't even like or talk to anymore. I am jealous of their jobs because I dislike mine. I am jealous of their relationships because I am single. I am jealous of people who are perpetually on vacation because I never have time off and if I do I am too exhausted to enjoy it.

I could go on and on but I do not want this entry to turn into a rant. I simply want to be honest with my struggles of jealousy and my struggles of how to deal with it. Reading my verse of the day on my Bible app, I was immediately taken by my verse.

James 4: 2-3 "You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."

Part of me is shamed by reading this verse... yes, I shouldn't be asking wrongly for things but the pouty, whiney person I have become thinks, well is it wrong to want a job that I am proud of? That I can make a living at so I can be a happy, productive member of society?!

Another part of me feels justified in my jealous nature... I have worked hard, gone to school, paid my dues, try to be a good person and friend. Why not me? Do I not deserve things in God's eyes?

Here's one thing that I have learned in my limited time here on this lovely earth: Don't argue with God. That's a fight you will never win.

Jealousy is something that I struggle with... what is something that you struggle with?

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