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It's ok to meet someone at the bar


AP Photo/Robert Durell

Is there a social stigma against dating someone you met at the bar? There are different kinds of bars and different people in bars. We hear all the time “I don’t want to meet someone in a bar, it’s not proper”. Why? Why isn’t it proper? It is understandable to not feel that it’s appropriate to meet someone in an adult entertainment club or in the town ‘meat market’. Really, who thinks the guy behind you grinding for 5 songs is great boyfriend material? However, socializing in bars is a standard.

You go to a bar to socialize with your buddies or your girlfriends or to blow off some steam and have a conversation, sometimes with the person on the bar stool next to you. It’s a social affair to listen to a band or try the newest brew. We go to watch sporting events during regular season and especially the play offs. In these places you have something in common with the other patrons. You have a similar interest in the band, playing pool, brewed beer, sports, or whatever brings you to your favorite watering hole. So why is it so frowned upon to meet someone in a bar, especially when you are single?

Of course, choose wisely to whom you give your phone number. Even though there is a common ground, they are still strangers. The same goes for anytime you meet someone, be it at a party or in a grocery store. If you hit it off with someone in a bar, and you are still unsure, ask the bartender about the person. Chances are if they are a regular, the bartender may be able to shed some light on their character. Trust your gut; it’s usually not too off base. If it feels right, call her or give him your phone number. If the next day or in a few days, he calls or she answers, go from there. Meet for coffee and see if you still like the person in the light of day, and in a different setting.

Just because you happen to meet someone in a bar or pub doesn’t mean you should be shy to tell people or ashamed. It’s such a social atmosphere for so many quality singles that it is a good avenue to meet people with like interests. There is no difference if you met at a party where you know no one but the host, and had to mingle. More than likely there is social drinking at the party, music playing, or some kind of sport or game going on. The only difference is you are in the host’s home, rather than a place owned by someone who makes money off of your socializing.

So go out there, have fun, and be open to talking to new people. It’s not suggested you make decisions you would normally not make, nor do something you are completely uncomfortable with, but keep yourself open to the possibility that there are quality people going out to socialize…just like you. You don’t know who you could pass up by keeping to your ‘rule’ to not date people you meet in a bar.


  • Victor--Seattle Singles Scene 5 years ago

    I feel you Stacey. Bars get a bad rap because they're tossed in the "meat market" and "adult entertainment" boxes as if all of them are like that! I wrote an article on happy hours becoming the new dinner hours. I noted that bars that feature happy hours come with a variety of sizes and atmospheres and patrons and entertainment and food and drink. So ruling out bars just because they're bars is like ruling out guys or gals just because they go out ha ha! Just as going out plays out differently from person to person, the way bars operate plays differently from bar to bar. In Seattle, Cowgirls Inc and Metropolitan Grill have bars. But those bars are like night and day. One is a 20 something "cowgirls bar" that gets downright raunchy at night. The other is a professional hub of business networking after work!

  • Stacey 5 years ago

    Thanks Victor! You are exactly right!