"I had my Twitter before you."
"What, you don't trust me?"
"But baby I'm with you, why are you trippin?"
"Your insecurity blanket is showing, tuck it in."
All of these sentiments have been echoed in the Twitter world when it comes to the question of "would you delete your Twitter if your significant other asked you to?" For most people, Twitter is as second nature as texting. With its convenient, user-friendly social apps, Twitter is one big chat room in your hand. Because the site doesn't gather specific user data, there's no numbers on the ratio of singles to those in relationships. However, nearly every week, Twitter is a contributing factor to a real life argument because someone got caught doing dirt. For people who are active on Twitter and enter in relationships, it can become a bone of contention in real life.
No matter how you look at it, Twitter is a meat market. It doesn't matter why you use it, there are thousands of people who treat it as just another means to hook up. Its immediacy allows for you to literally bypass the stage of physical contact and interaction. The more you tweet personal details and thoughts, the more followers feel like they're getting to know you. And it becomes just a waiting game of who dips into the direct messages (DMs) first. With the site being in real-time, you can have someone's number and be talking to them daily in a matter of a few hours. So is it not a reasonable expectation that Twitter could be another type of competition for your mate being faithful?
Mind you, cheating will happen anywhere. Your mate can cheat with someone they work with the same way that they can cheat with a follower. But the one glaring difference is cheating that comes by way of social networking is often masked as something else at first. Here's an example; if you're a woman who's dating a blogger or writer, he's going to have a harem of groupies that he may not be aware of. For him, he's writing because he likes doing it and it's a release for him. Any writer on the net that's chasing exposure is going to write with a level of transparency and rawness that only comes from what he knows and experiences. So while he's innocently accepting praise and adoration for his work, women feel like they're getting to know him personally without blatantly engaging him. Retweets turn into tweet threads, which lead to DM conversation, and finally, to numbers being exchanged. And before you realize it, your man has a new chick in his life that you have to essentially be on guard against. Why? Because for him, "it's just Twitter."
Only it's not.
Regardless of what people say or try to represent, there are people on Twitter that take tweets and their followers somewhat seriously. People can read too deep into things and lines can get crossed without you even knowing there was a line to cross. Social networking, as with anything else, can only become a problem if you allow it to be. So what does this have to do with a woman's insecurity?
When the original question was posed on Twitter, timelines were rampant with that "I" word. Both men and women felt like if you don't trust your mate on social networking, you shouldn't be with them. However it's not that black and white. Some people conduct themselves as being single when they're not. They use their Twitter the same way you would use a work-boo in real life. With Twitter, as long as your mate isn't on there, you're single. #Dassit! People flirt, openly thirst, and in most cases never even acknowledge that they're taken. By no means, do you need to broadcast your relationship status unless explicitly asked. But people do get attached at an accelerated pace on social networking. What started out as innocent and harmless may easily turn into "I'm in your city, when can I see you?"
Nobody is born into this world a jealous, insecure person. We develop those sensitivities based on relationship experiences we go through. That behavior is also heightened by the one you're with. Therefore, let's not pretend like a person's actions don't create doubt and insecurity where there was none. Look at it in these terms; if you were dating someone who was a constant flirt, you'd understandably feel some type of way about them always being in the midst of other attractive people. That doesn't mean that you spend every waking moment worried about losing them to the next pretty face or dope mind. But you're more apt to take note of who they pay attention to and if anyone in particular begins to emerge. On the flip side, for an active tweeter, the onus is on you to make your mate feel like there's respect in your relationship.
Your relationship shouldn't have ultimatums. You shouldn't have to give up something that you like doing for the sake of a relationship. But if it becomes that big of an issue when your mate is asking you to delete it completely, perhaps you should take a step and ask why that extreme is necessary. Are you practicing self-control? Are you making it clear that you're not on it to hook up? Are you maintaining a balance between the attention you give your real girlfriend/boyfriend and your followers? Truthfully, it's not always dummied down to the person is insecure regarding Twitter and your other social networking sites. It's about being honest with yourself about how others use it. The standing rule should always be don't do what you wouldn't want your mate doing.
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