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It's beginning to look a lot like EX-mas.

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There are plenty of articles out there about the joy of the season and how to make the most of it with and for your significant other. I am not going to write one of those.

This article has a cynical rating of 4 out of 5 stars, but will still make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. If you're single. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Since the beginning of this holiday season, which to ME has not started yet, however I'm forced to believe it started right around October 20 thanks to that Detroit radio station that starts playing Christmas music before I even retire my open-toed shoes for the season, anyway...since then, there's been a pattern.    

My girl friends suddenly being single, and the guy they dropped like a hot brick is starting to look reaaaaally good.

I get it. I can understand the feeling that one may not want to be "single" or "alone" around the holidays. There are the Christmas parties that you love to attend each year, but hate RSVP'ing without a "+1" because you just don't want to arrive alone or be the person that caused there to be an extra chair at each table, there's the cute romantic holiday cards you receive with pictures of happy couples and their adorable children and pets, the matching sweaters, the romantic gift-giving, the cuddling and the fires and the hot cocoa, and the... OK I'm done now. That's enough. I said I'd give you cynical, I'm going to give you cynical. Dedication.

Really... I get it. Holidays bring out the romance in people. However, this is my first "single" holiday in a few years, and all I'm thinking about is the weight off my shoulders. This year is going to be all about me. Last year will forever be known to me as the holiday from H-E-double-hockey-sticks (thanks to one lucky man) and this year... I'll be able to breathe.

There is no one to make me feel obligated to show up to their family dinner, except for my own family. I have divorced parents, so there's many places I plan to go and people I want to see. I don't have to show up at a party of 4 people who expect me to be there since "I may be part of the family someday" yet can't for the life of them coordinate their party of 4 at a time different than that of my family party of 40 that has been planned the same for the past... 23 years. Thanks guys. I didn't want to see my new Goddaughter anyway.

I won't get yelled at for asking what time dinner will be out of the oven because I'd like to try and make it to see my family. That's just rude, Mandy.

There is no one to complain about having to dress up for my company Christmas party (except for me), no one to get sloppy drunk at my company Christmas party (except for me), and no one to force me to drive home from my company Christmas party because they drank too much due to it being too "snooty and uptight" for them to handle, and no one to yell at me at my company Christmas party for not paying enough attention to them.

There is no one to complain about my obsession with the NSYNC Christmas album and the fact that I have zero shame busting it out every year. Except my brother.

I can give Martha Stewart a run for her money and wrap everything in pink snowflake paper and frilly white and silver bows. Except I won't do that, maybe for my Mother's present, but you know what? I could if I wanted to and won't be tarnishing any man cards!

I don't have to suffer from anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder from busting my butt trying to find the perfect gift, only to hear "well just because I said those are really cool and would be fun to have in the apartment doesn't mean I actually wanted one." Instead, I'll buy myself a dress and some new boots. Fa-bu-lous!

Mom doesn't have to spend money on a gift for my significant other, either. What does this mean? More for me!

I can avoid Best Buy at ALL costs. Oh wait, I have 4 brothers. Nevermind. I just won't have anyone to drag me into Best Buy just to look at the rack of $5 DVDs. For the 26th time.

Can you tell I'm a little excited? Because I am. Now where did I put that NSYNC album, anyway?

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Comments

  • Just A Girl 5 years ago

    Yeah the boy and I are too new to really do much holiday togetherness stuff, which is good. No awkwardness of "Hi mom, this is the guy I've been dating for um...a month. Merry Christmas!" We're just doing our own things and we'll hang out later.

  • Kim- Royal Oak Nightlife 5 years ago

    True story!

    This is my first single Christmas in 4 years! And all of those years included stepchildren and the meal was at my house. This year, the rents are flying to Florida to visit the sibling so it'll be me, pajamas, a gallon of mimosa, and Christmas movies. So excited!

  • Kristan - kristanhoffman.com 5 years ago

    LOL. Yeah being single is HUGELY convenient, not just at the holidays.

  • Pecosa 5 years ago

    I used to dread the holidays because of my ex's family. Now I get to pack the kids up, send them off with him for a few hours while I enjoy a glass or three of wine and holiday movies.

  • auntkelli 5 years ago

    Your fav aunt doesn't need her present in pink snowflakes - Black with silver snowflakes wouold be pretty nifty...
    So this is some of what happened & I never got to hear about. I love my family but there are definitely days I wish for singlehoodness! Grass is greener & all that bunk.