By Dr Joe Rubino
We all have it. That little voice on our shoulder that puts us down, keeps us small, and has us lose confidence in our abilities. Maybe it's the voice of a parent or authority figure. Maybe it's simply the result of countless episodes of berating ourselves and eventually buying into the disparaging remarks we've received from others over the years.
The job of our negative self-talker (who I like to call Chip) is to protect us from hurt and harm and help us to survive in what we perceive to be a cruel and difficult world. His or her admonitions come as a result of having weathered countless attacks to our self-esteem. Chip's job is to protect us from additional pain...at any cost.
Like the creature Gollum, from The Lord of the Rings, Chip speaks his warnings to us...
* People don't like you.
* People will hurt you.
* You're not good enough.
* No one loves you.
* You'll never amount to anything.
* You're not smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, etc.
Chip says...To heck with them! I'll show them! Hide out: it's not safe to risk. I hate you anyways! ...or whatever your version of Chip's negative bantering is for you.
The problem is that Chip is usually not aware of what it costs us to follow his warnings, keep our low self-esteem in place, and react negatively to life's challenges. Our health, happiness, relationships, ability to attract abundance, our potential for fulfillment, and the chance to live by honoring our values and in pursuit of our life's purpose all suffer.
After years of listening to Chip's tirades that keep us in the drama cycle of life's challenges, we have likely become numb to even recognizing his words as coming from our negative self-talker. We live in the resignation that life is a struggle and we do the best we can do just to survive in a difficult world.
So, step #1 toward maximizing our self-esteem, personal effectiveness, happiness, and potential for fulfillment requires us to recognize Chip's voice as contrasted with the voice of our wise intuition. Once we recognize that our negative self-talk does not support us, we can be proactive in managing it. We can decide to interpret life in a way that supports our vision for all aspects of our lives. We can dismiss any interpretations that keep us stuck and small and have us squander our personal power.
If you have not already done so, receive our free mini-course on Creating Extreme Self-Esteem at http://www.SelfEsteemSystem.com
Dr. Joe Rubino is an acclaimed personal development trainer, life-changing success & life-optimization coach & best-selling author of 12 books in 24 languages. To receive free gifts and subscribe to his FREE newsletters, learn more about his life-impacting programs and courses or to read about his books, visit www.CenterForPersonalReinvention.com, www.highselfesteemkids.com, www.lifeoptimizationcoaching.com and http://www.SelfEsteemSystem.com