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Is your tempo in sync?

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According to, “In musical terminology, tempo ("time" in Italian; plural: tempi or tempos) is the speed or pace of a given piece. Tempo is a crucial element of most musical compositions, as it can affect the mood and difficulty of a piece.”

Consider this definition and while pondering it, think of it symbolic of your life.

What is your tempo? Remember, this affects the mood and difficulty of your grand composition, the journey of you. While you are assessing this crucial timing consider those around you, are you in sync?

The calendar month of February brings not only cold weather and the need for snuggling (if you’re in Michigan), but also Valentine Day.

In his piece, This column will change your life: Tempo trouble, Oliver Burkeman asks, “What happens to relationships when partners march to the beats of different drums?” He highlights psychologist William Kir-Stimon who uses this concept in his marriage counseling practice.

“…Research suggests impulsive people and alcoholics, among others, experience time passing faster than more cautious, sober types. Validating the old cliché, warring couples were often just marching to the beats of different drums.”

Burkeman shares insight from Peter Fraenkel’s book, Sync Your Relationship, Save Your Marriage. Fraenkel communicates, “Early in a romance, we seem to be attracted to our "time opposites", then come to dislike that characteristic. The frenetic overachiever is drawn to the slow-moving dreamer as a source of calm... until he or she is transformed, without necessarily changing, into an undermotivated slacker. This isn't about rights and wrongs; I know my hyperpunctuality, say, can be as enraging as lateness. The challenge is to bring into the light what Fraenkel calls "the hidden dimension of intimacy" – time perception.”

The idea here is to recognize the timing or lack thereof in your relationship and then to work together to improve this harmony if necessary.

Perhaps timing is everything and, if so, this is key to a lifelong union!

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