If there’s one constant in this day and age it’s the predictability of the unstable economy, with the savings being in every aspect of life from recycled materials to money – oozing on into the wonderful world of dating. As if dating weren't confusing enough, coupon use has spawned questions in dating etiquette, with first-time daters asking: “Is the use of a coupon on a first date appropriate; and, is the use of a coupon a buzz-kill – or chance for enhanced romance that could lead to a second date? The answers just might be surprising.
Men and women of a more experienced generation were queried (between the ages of 30 and 50) with about 90 percent feeling that the use of a coupon on a first date was absolutely unacceptable for the simple reason that with their traditional dating beliefs being old-fashioned, they did not feel that finances, like politics, were first date discussion topics. On the other hand, TMI (too much information) was a surefire buzz-kill. In general, the consensus was that the inclination to go on a second date would be killed the instant a coupon was pulled out, let alone discussed, on a first date; and they could only hope the need to save was not so urgent for a first date with simultaneous feelings that being a big spender vs. too frugal can have equal cause for alarm.
On the other side of the dating etiquette query comes the slightly younger generation (between the ages of 18 and 30) who are often known for taking “speed dating” to a whole new level by trying to turn nine dates into three dates, getting to know their date in as little time as possible thinking it somehow saves time and money – with about 65 percent stating that not only did they feel the use of a coupon would “cheapen” the date, they also felt it would make them feel less important. The remaining 35 percent said even though they'd never tried it they might consider it; however, they felt it boasted an arrogance and felt it more to be a “couples” thing.
Oddly, all of the aforementioned results were not that far off from recent poll results as indicated in a discussion between Suze Orman and Anderson Cooper; as well as in a recent article posted by KGO’s Michael Finney of “7 On Your Side.” Both indicated that although saving was important, the use of a coupon on a first date was probably not the best tactic to impress, even in a day and age where negotiation and savings were important; and that additional red flags could be raised by being too frugal.
While Suze Orman's recent discussion with Anderson Cooper was true to form with any frugal behavior generally being appreciated, Orman felt that promoting oneself as a person who saves and then brandishing big bucks on a big tip could indicate financial trouble. On the other hand, Orman also stated that trying to impress someone with finances – whether they have them or not; or spending money at expensive places to impress someone is never a good idea. Equally questionable might be the unwillingness to compromise or be even the slightest frugal, including a compromise on a date. It seems Those who can’t save but who can spend might be someone to be cautious of.
Orman felt the use of a coupon more materialistic, whereas Finney stated that recent poll results (October 24) were by OK with the use of coupons on first dates if they were honest and it helped pay for the date.
According to Finney about 26 percent of the couples surveyed stated they would have “no problem” with their first date whipping out a coupon on that first date whereas 12 percent stated they would not bother to go out on a second date if that occurred – with only one percent of the couples surveyed stating that they would actually end the first date then and there if someone dared try to use a coupon on a first date; with all requesting honesty regardless of the topic.
I also asked those that I queried what it was about coupon use that people frowned upon and the answers were varied, from embarrassment to the date not being "all about me" (from some of the women) to not being impressive enough (mostly the men) to TMI (too much information) not being a good idea too early on; but all were in agreement that as long as honesty is exercised, the discussion of coupon use will, like fine wine, in due time, eventually be discussed as everyone has their pace and they will know it when they feel it.
So there you have it folks, the consensus being that it's not proper etiquette, regardless of traditional or conventional dating values, to use a coupon on the first through third dates. Beyond that, discuss it, share your coupon beliefs and save together – in fact, if the relationship begins to lead somewhere special, save for a trip to go somewhere special together (in separate accounts, and with the highest interest) with half in the bank for a rainy day and half for a trip to somewhere like Paris on a rainy day for that one year anniversary. Saving can be fun and enjoyable, without always being work. In the meantime, enjoy dating, be yourself, be honest, be safe and for goodness sake have some fun.
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Additional information for couples and coupons:
Whether you want to be Mrs. Love bucket, Mr. Frugal or the Big Spender there’s always a savings to be found online – and CBS has some of the best savings for you – along with a list of the fraudulent and scam sites to avoid. So enjoy saving from now on into 2013 and remember, just because you’re dating and trying to be a little more frugal it does not make you any less prestigious or sexy – in fact, it makes you that much more attractive. So check out this link and enjoy the savings – and let us know where you take those trips next year.
Sites to avoid and which sites offer the best savings from CBS, including sites like coupon.com:
Examiner / CBS Tip that everyone should know: Remember, when you’re filling out any form online and it asks for that “promo” code – that means that there is a promo code out there so don’t leave that space empty!
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