Personally, I’ve always wanted a pause button, for all those times I have to tell my children: “Stop. Just stop.”
I’d use it right now on my son, who is pushing the music button on his Baby Einstein book for the 25th time in a row. So much easier than taking the book away, which leads to crying, which leads to saying that mommy is stupid, which leads to a time out. Bah.
I’d use it on my daughter, who is saying: “I can’t believe it’s the last day of summer!” for the twentieth time today.
I would use it every time my children forget A) who’s in charge, and B) that sometimes you have to put the breaks on that temper tantrum, if you don’t want mommy’s head to blow up. I would especially use it when my daughter asks a question to which the answer is “no”.
Isabella has issues with the word no; she thinks the meaning is negotiable. She sort of treats it like a magic eight ball: “ask again”, “maybe”, “outcome unclear”.
Although I will be the first to admit that I have many shortcomings as a parent, being inconsistent is not one of them. In our house, ‘no’ always means just one thing: No. Ask again, and extra bonus ‘no’s’ will pop up out of nowhere; meaning, if you don’t accept it the first time, I’m going to say no to questions you haven’t even asked yet. It’s a virtual IRA account for denials, and my daughter has invested heavily. Hence, the pause button. Just look at the difference it would make:
Scenario 1 (without remote control):
“Mom, can I have a cup of coffee?”
“No.”
“But mom, dad lets me have it.”
“No.”
“Can I have it a little bit later?”
“No.”
“Why not? I like coffee! Please, Mom?”
“No.”
That’s four ‘no’s’, in one short interaction.
Scenario 2 (with remote control)
“Mom, can I have a cup of coffee?”
“No.”
“Bu…(paused)”
See? I would only have to say ‘no’ one time. Clearly, the advantages would all be mine. Oh, I know, parents might abuse the privilege (leaving your kids on pause for several days would, for instance, not be good) but maybe we can attach a license to it, just like we do for driving. If I ever win the lottery, I am so funding a scientist somewhere to invent this.
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Comments
Maybe you never should have had children in the first place.This article is not even remotely (ha-ha) amusing. How about getting real parenting skills and giving your children choices of what they can do? Every time a child hears "no," his/her brain shuts down.
Are you kidding? I adore my children! However, I think it's important that I don't take myself too seriously. Sorry you didn't enjoy the article; I guess we can't all have the same sense of humor. Have a great day!
Dear anonymous,
Are you listening to yourself? Good heavens, have you never felt like you were being pecked to death by ducks by the constant mommymommymommymommy-ing? Kids develop respect (self and other) and bounderies (critical for sucess in school and life) when told 'no' appropriately. Their brains most emphatically DO NOT shut down when told no, they find new ways to get what they want--often encountering another no. Parents who say NO teach, develop and encourge creativity in their children.
So says me, sane (and not full of herself) mom of 22 year old son and 9 year old TRIPLET daughters.
Annette! There you go, spreading your venom around! You just like being mean to li'l KIDS!
Kellie, you're right. I learn it all from you.
Today I spread my venom in the form of many birthday presents for Isabella, a completely decorated house, a home made chocolate cake...my parental evil brought to new heights. :) :)
Nanci-- their brains shut down when they hear no and they open in another direction! Anonymous is probably a psychologist with no kids of her own. Or a high schooler rebelling against the establishment.
My thoughts exactly, Snorkle!
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