Is Steve Phillips using sex addiction as an excuse for his infidelity?

Is Steve Phillips' sex addicition real or fake? 
Get an infidelity expert's point of view.  Photo: AP

Is Steve Phillips using sex addiction as a convenient excuse for his affair with Brooke Hundley?

The official statement from Steve Lefkowitz, who is acting as Phillips’ representative is that Steve Phillips has checked himself into a residential rehab clinic “to address his personal issues.”

As far as I can determine from my research, the term “sex addiction” does not specifically appear in any official statement issued by Steve Phillips or his representative Steve Lefkowitz.

What Lefkowitz did say, however, is that the treatment Phillips is receiving is “akin to what actor Michael Douglas went through – sexually compulsive behavior.”

However it has been widely reported by the media that Phillips is undergoing treatment for sex addiction.

An Excuse for Phillips’ Marital Misbehavior?

Is Steve Phillips using sex addiction – or the illusion of sex addiction -- as an excuse for cheating on his wife?

One thing we do know is that  Phillips has a history of sexual misconduct. When he was employed as General Manager of the New York Mets, Phillips admitted having sex with a team employee, who later sued for sexual harassment. The case was settled out of court.

This time Phillips’ infidelity has cost him his marriage and his job. See the article entitled Steve Phillips’ Cheating Ways Cost Him His ESPN Job, His Marriage, And Our Respect

Phillips’ job at EXPN is probably a lost cause. But will checking into rehab to work on his problem – whatever it may be – help him get his marriage back?

Having researched infidelity for over 15 years, and interviewed thousands of infidelity victims and cheaters of both sexes, I’ve encountered many serial cheaters who use sex addiction as an excuse for their marital misbehavior.

Some men will grasp at any excuse to explain why they cheated on their wives – after they get caught. See the article entitled Is There a Gene That Makes Men Cheat?

For every legitimate case of sex addiction, there are probably 50 to 75 other cheating men using this as an excuse.

A Deluge of Inquiries About Sex Addiction

As soon as sex addiction was introduced as a possible explanation for Steve Phillips’ affair with Brooke Hundley, I started getting e-mails from women married to men who are serial cheaters asking if their husbands could be sex addicts, too.

As an infidelity expert (writer. researcher, consultant), rather than a clinician, that’s a diagnosis I am not qualified to make.

However I can offer the following observations and insight into the issue of sexual addiction.

Is There Really Such a Thing as Sex Addiction?

Sex addiction is a highly controversial topic. Even medical professionals disagree on whether or not it’s a true addiction.

However, a growing number of medical professionals believe that compulsive sexual behavior is a very real disorder that an estimated 16 million Americans, both men and women, are fighting.

How Can I Tell If My Husband / Boyfriend Is Really a Sex Addict?

Only a qualified medical professional can make an accurate diagnosis.

However I think it’s significant to note that many medical professionals who are familiar with sex addiction, say that most sex addicts live in denial of their addiction.

According to www.MedicineNet.com, “Sex addicts engage in distorted thinking, often rationalizing and justifying their behavior and blaming others for problems. They generally deny they have a problem and make excuses for their actions.”

So if your husband or boyfriend willingly admits that he has a problem with sex addiction, or voluntarily tell you he’s a sex addict – only after you’ve caught him cheating on you, I’d be personally inclined to think he’s just using it as an excuse. See the article entitled Top 10 Reasons Why Men and Women Cheat

A Medical Overview of Sexual Addiction

This brief overview of sexual addiction and the recommended treatment comes from www.MedicineNet.com  where you can find more detailed information on this topic.

The term sex addiction describes the behavior of someone who has an unusually strong sex drive or sexual obsession.

Sex and thoughts of sex dominate a sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.

Sex addicts may engage in exhibitionism, voyeurism, prostitution, compulsive masturbation, or cybersex.

Treatment for sex addiction includes individual counseling, marital and/or family therapy, support groups, 12-step recovery programs, and in some cases, medications.

Questions Still Remain

Will viewing Steve Phillips as a sex addict rather than a “sleazeball” restore his tarnished reputation?

Is Steve Phillips using sex addiction as an excuse for cheating on his wife?

Will checking into a rehab for treatment help Phillips salvage is marriage now that Marni Phillips has filed for divorce?

Only time well tell.

*** © copyright 2009 Ruth Houston

Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news. She is the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog at http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com .

For more information on infidelity, cheating men, and extramarital affairs see:

Is There a Gene That Makes Men Cheat?

Top 10 Reasons Why Men and Women Cheat

Steve Phillips’ Cheating Ways Cost Him His ESPN Job, His Marriage, And Our Respect

Brooke Hundley’s Behavior Raises Questions Every Cheating Man Should Ask About His Mistress

Steve Phillips - Brooke Hundley Infidelity Scandal - a Warning to Cheating Husbands

20 Problems a Workplace Romance Can Cause

Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (book)

Is He Cheating? Is She Cheating? 21 Ways You Can Tell (free tip sheet)