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Is Juan Pablo the worst 'Bachelor' ever? All besitos, no brains

Is Juan Pablo the worst "Bachelor" of all time?
Is Juan Pablo the worst "Bachelor" of all time?
JuanPaGalavis Instagram

"Bachelor" Juan Pablo's anti-gay comments aren't the only thing turning viewers off.

Pegged to be the greatest "Bachelor" season ever, the folks over at ABC are likely cringing every Monday night when Juan Pablo Galavis sticks his tongue down the throats of women who are so naive that it's embarrassing to watch.

Never mind when the network lets him loose to do an interview. Like the one did with "Good Morning America" on Tuesday, once again trying to explain how he loves gays.

"I have a cousin who is gay. His sister is a nun. So it’s been around my house all my life. So, to me, it was a misunderstanding.”

Ju-Pa really needs to stop running his mouth, both the one he attempts to talk with and the one that plants "besos" on every girl on the show.

2014 'Bachelor' spoilers: Is it all over for Juan Pablo & Nikki Ferrell?

To call this season of "The Bachelor" a train wreck is far too kind.

Galavis uses single-fatherhood as his trump card. If you're moderately intelligent, you aren't buying what he's selling.

Bottom line: Juan Pablo is a complete contradiction. He is boring, vapid and "more pervert" than Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer combined. Well, maybe not that bad.

Ju-Pa tries to make it clear (every forty seconds) to everyone that he is a "single father" who has only the best of intentions in mind for his beloved daughter, Camila. However, his "great father" routine dried up during the season premiere back in January.

‘Bachelor’ Juan Pablo on fatherhood: Double talk & double standards

He talks a good game to the women on the show, stating over and over again that he doesn't want to do anything that would put him in a bad light with Camila.

Then he acts like a total man-whore, swapping spit with any woman who strikes up a conversation with him and jumping in the ocean to do the nasty, or close to it, with Clare.

Mostly because he doesn't seem to have the skills necessary to hold more than a 7 word discussion.

Clearly he doesn't understand what his "girls" are saying when they try to have a deep conversation with him.

It's not really a language barrier issue, it's more like a "nothing upstairs" issue. Or so it seems when you watch him in a one-on-one situation with any of the ladies this season.

If a woman says anything beyond "You're great" he begins playing with her hair. If that isn't enough to distract her, he starts attacking her mouth with a piranha-like kiss until she shuts up.

Every so often, he denies one of his ladies a kiss to prove that he's a fabulous father. Five minutes later, he's half way in another woman's mouth with his hot, Latin tongue.

Even the one woman who appears to question his authenticity gets duped by his "besos." The smart and beautiful Sharleen Joynt has been unsure of Juan Pablo from day one, but seems to melt when he goes in for a kiss.

Perhaps she's doing a detailed study on human nature, because there can be no other reason for her to waste her intelligence on a guy who doesn't even know what "cut to the chase" means.

Here's the problem: It's hard not to watch, tweet or discuss this season of the "Bachelor" because it's so bad that it's good.

Turning it off means you will not longer be able to see Shallow Hal, aka Juan Pablo, make a complete fool of himself on national television. Sometimes the worst shows on television are the most entertaining.

Don't feel bad because you watch "The Bachelor" -- there are a few million others who tune in to this reality TV nightmare every week.

Just feel lucky that you aren't a contestant.

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