Typically, when older, you have lived a lifetime with friends and family. Then you meet someone new. What happens to the friends you have that are the opposite gender? Is it possible to remain friends while in a relationship with someone else? This is a question that elicits much controversy.
The first thing you have to do is be upfront and honest with your partner from the beginning. Tell them about your friend, and what you like about your friend. Ask them how they feel about this friendship? Ask yourself if it is fair to just assume your partner should be okay with this friendship. If they don’t feel comfortable, it’s a wrap, or your relationship is a wrap.
Ask yourself if your partner had the same kind of friend of the opposite gender, how would it make you feel? Would you expect them to end the friendship immediately or would you be open to interpret their friendship?
Both of you should feel comfortable with the friendship. The friend should never be more important in any respect than your partner. Being open with your partner about this friendship is important as people change and feelings change over time. Your partner should always be able to express any feelings about this friend. Communication between you and your partner is one of the most important aspects of your relationship. If your feelings change about your friend, good or bad, you should communicate this to your partner. Likewise, if their feelings change, they should also be able to openly express those feelings to you.
That doesn’t mean at sometime in the future jealousy will not rear its ugly head. Perhaps you laughed just a little too loud with your friend or spent time with them that your partner wishes you would have spent with them. These things must be discussed and not kept inside. Both parties essentially should trust each other fully and be fully trustworthy. It’s not impossible to have a friend of the opposite gender when in a relationship, but it does take some work on both sides.
If your partner doesn’t feel comfortable you must respect these feelings and ditch the friend. You both have to play by the rules you make together, otherwise your relationship could be tumultuous. Communicating from the beginning about friendships and any other issues that may arise in a new relationship is the key to a lifetime of happiness for you and your partner