Soul mate Vs Sole mate
Not long ago someone posed the question: Can you be happy with anyone other than your soul mate? There are over 7 Billion people on this planet. In all likelihood there is more than one person for everyone. While I do believe in the concept of a soul mate I do not believe there is "sole-mate" as in only one person who is "perfect" for you. Everyone we fall in love with is "the one" until we realize they are not. As human beings we evolve overtime. Our needs and wants change. What was perfect for you at ages 16, 19, or 25 may not seem so perfect at 35, 45, 55 or beyond. The truth is we may have a number of soul mates over the years. There is no such thing as a “sole mate” as in only (one person) on the whole planet that is like a needle in a haystack where we must invest a lot of energy trying to locate.
Defining Soul Mate
The underlying definition of a "soul mate" is connecting with a person who wants what you want and feels as strongly about you as you do about them. Naturally this would mean if the relationship ended with a breakup or a divorce something changed for one of you. Someone decided his or her life would be better off without the other person in it. If you don't want to be with someone or they don't want to be with you then I would say you are not (life-long) soul mates.
Time Will Tell
Time together is the only way to measure if someone is your (life-long) soul mate. Timing and projection of feelings are two important keys in determining if someone is our soul mate along with chemistry and desire. Since most relationships begin with both people trying to "impress" each other and rarely saying (no) to one another it's natural to feel you’ve met “the one” over and over again. It's not until you see each other's "authentic self" that you feel differently.
Discarding Rose Colored Glasses
Too often people recall a high school or college sweetheart they had that was often their first love and they label him or her as their “soul mate”. Every relationship after that they never came close to having the same depth of intimacy and feelings. However the truth is we refuse to allow ourselves to open up that way again.
It's human nature to romanticize our past or have "selective memories" as well as use the "unforeseen circumstances or obstacles" to enhance our beautiful but tragic ending. In reality if two people (really) want to be together they will do whatever it takes to make it happen! Kings have abdicated their thrones or have gone to war. Men and women have left their spouses with children and so on. We choose to do what we think is in our best interest. If you didn’t stay together then he or she was not “the one”. In a world with more than 7 Billion people in it odds are fairly high there is more than one soul mate for each of us. You just have to be willing to let go of the past, open your heart to receive and give love to another person. It takes more courage to love a second, third, or fourth time but it’s possible.
The concept of "soul mate" is based upon believing our options for love are finite in a world that has infinite possibilities.