If I was to ask a group of people a question; is it good to be vulnerable in a relationship? Most everyone in that group would say no. If I was to ask why you should not be vulnerable in a relationship? I guarantee the response would be because when you are vulnerable you open yourself up to being hurt. Before I continue, let’s look at the definition of vulnerability
Vulnerability is defined as the capability of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt 2. Open to temptation, persuasion, censure, etc. 3. Liable or exposed to disease, disaster, etc. 4. Military liable or exposed to attack 5. Bridge (of a side who have won one game towards rubber) subject to increased bonuses or penalties.
Wow looking at this definition I can see why so many people are afraid of being vulnerable when it comes to relationship, but through research it has been proven that when you are vulnerable in a relationship, that relationship will best the best relationship you ever experienced.
Let me explain; when we are vulnerable in a relationship we are showing ourselves to others completely and utterly without holding back for fear of rejection or judgment. You are saying to people here I am with all of my flaws and strengths you can either accept it or you can be on your way.
You stop being afraid and stop worrying about what others think and you can be you. When we are invulnerable, we shut ourselves off and we stay afraid. Vulnerability tells people that you are okay with yourself, and from that people will be okay with you, but if you continue to judge yourself, then so will they.
I know to become vulnerable is not easy, it is about completely freeing yourself and taking the chance that you might be hurt. Hurt is one reason why so many of us are invulnerable because the pain is too great and we never want to feel that type of pain. It is very understandable, but remember feelings cannot be separated. You can't put bad feelings on one side and good ones on another, so if you try to numb or not experience all of the bad feelings that you might have you will never be able to experience the good ones.
Here are the benefits of being vulnerable:
1. You develop richer, more meaningful relationships.
2. You have less overall stress (you no longer have to be perfect all the time!).
3. An increase self-confidence.
4. More time is spent pleasing yourself (and less time pleasing others).
5. You free yourself from worrying about what everyone else thinks.
6. You open yourself up to the possibility of greater emotional and spiritual growth.
7. You allow yourself to truly heal from past wounds by being more emotionally open.
8. It gives you the wisdom and freedom to make the most beneficial choices in your life.
9. You reap the benefits that come with being able to share your feelings with others.
10. Opens you up to new social situations.
Once again, being vulnerable is not easy to do, it takes a lot of work, and you might need to talk to someone (a professional). But I believe you have to work on you and you have to happy with yourself before anyone else can make you happy.
Researcher Brene Brown did a presentation on vulnerability if you have the time please watch and listen. You could learn a lot.