Skip to main content

See also:

Is it ok to Submit to my Man?

Today I read an article titled Black Women: Does Submitting to Your Man Make for a Stronger Union from Ebony Magazine. In my 20’s I have struggled to find a balance between voluntary submission vs. being a doormat. I had a relationship where I thought doing everything to please the man would make him love me. Later I found out submitting to a man wasn’t about neglecting my own needs. It was more about being in touch and comfortable with exerting my feminine energy. No, I did not exert my feminine energy with the please him all relationship. In fact, I felt like I had to be the man in that relationship and it was miserable in every sense of the word. He was a serial cheater and emotional abuser. Honestly being in such a miserable circumstance made it feel more challenging to find myself and branch into full womanhood.

Submission. Why is it looked down upon by the modern woman?
Photo by Chris Hyde

Then I met a wonderful man that made me feel inspired to submit to him, but it didn’t feel like I was giving up who I am. I felt the total opposite…I felt empowered. I still feel like that when I submit to him. It feels natural and I feel strong with him. I am slowly learning to balance my passion for women empowerment with traditional roles of being a woman that loves and nurtures her man, her family, and her home.

You can cook. You can be a mother. You can keep up a healthy household. You can also have a successful professional career and be a true community leader. I am a firm believer that as a woman I can have it all.

When you learn to fulfill your self-love and remain curious about the world, you empower yourself and learn to submit to your man in a fashion that empowers both of you.

I have the freedom to love and be loved because I don’t see submission to my romantic partner as something that degrades me. I choose to submit to him out of my own freewill. He leads well and that inspires me to be a better woman everyday. I can see myself being his wife. I can see myself carrying his seed. I can see myself living out the professional career I envision for myself. I can see myself doing all these things, because everything I inspire to be starts with love. I want to be this man’s wife and mother of his children because I feel love from a deep place, a spiritual place. I can see myself achieving my professional aspirations because I have a passion for what I do that it doesn’t feel like a chore to me.

I don’t have to be a strong willed woman, specifically a strong willed Black woman, anymore because I realized the world needs me as I am… a being full of feminine energy. It’s my strength. It’s the full experience of being me.

If you need some inspiration to get in touch with your feminine energy, here are some biblical verses from holy books:

The Bible has lessons in Ephesians 5:23, 1 Peter 3:1, and Colossians 3:18 (just to name a few).

The Qu’ran has lessons in Suras 4:34, 2:223 and 66:5 related to the roles men and women for strong, healthy and happy unions.