Sex and relationships go hand in hand, but unfortunately infidelity is also a growing part of the relationship experience. Both men and women cheat, but men have a rich history of dabbling in the secretary pool, ‘working late’ and having a night with the boys turn into a night with another girl.
Most that have experienced betrayal say that they overlooked signs of cheating, not out of inattentiveness, but out of trust. Others look back and say they must have been in denial all along. You can learn from the experiences of others and answer the question “Is he being unfaithful” once and for all.
Rachel worked at an Albuquerque coffee shop while going to school. She was 24 and happily making wedding plans with her boyfriend of 5 years. He was attentive, hard working and she considered him a good catch.
That’s why she didn’t worry about his habit of keeping his phone on silent…his need for privacy every time it rang….or his new habit of working late.
It took a sexually transmitted disease to wake her up; her man was a cheater. Looking back, she laments, “I didn’t want to be that girlfriend, jealous and freaking out over the cell phone and stuff.”
Erica also got a wake up call when she intercepted a phone call. She picked up the phone and was greeted with a lusty, “Hey bad boy,” intended for her boyfriend of 3 years. He had been working a lot, stopped calling if he was running late, and showering as soon as he got home.
Like Rachel, she always found excuses for him and didn’t want to be the “jealous nag.” Her trust was used against her and the toll it took on her was profound, “ I felt empty, crushed and defeated. I don’t think I’ll ever trust again.”
Don’t ignore signs of infidelity. Here are some subtle, but tell-tale signs that things aren’t right in your love life.
Phone habits - Keeps phone on silent, acts nervous when phone rings, won’t let you borrow his phone, frequent texting.
Habit Changes - Sudden or abrupt changes, a new interest in working out,
new tastes in food, work patterns, getting new clothes and other things that indicate his is “sprucing” himself up.
Internet activity - Hiding online history, nervous about computer sharing, spending excessive time online, secret or new email addresses.
Talking Too Much – Excessively talking about a coworker, in glowing terms or otherwise gushing about them. It’s hard to not talk about somebody you’re interested in, cheating or otherwise, so pay attention to a new name that keeps popping up.
Sex Habits – Wanting less, showing an interest in new or odd sexual things. A change in sexual habits can indicate he is getting it somewhere else or picking up a taste for new things with somebody else.
Cheaters often give lots of warning signs, so pay attention. It’s not just sex, cheating has far reaching implications. It puts you in danger of disease, emotional stress and a loss of trust that might never be repaired!
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