Everyone has one of those "eternally single" friends. You can't seem to remember the last time she had a real relationship. Her calendar is filled with fabulous parties, private events and trips. She clearly has no time for a significant other. You would assume she doesn't want to be tied down by a relationship. I never expected myself to be that girl. After a long relationship that ended with him "putting a ring on it it" and subsequently a divorce, a period of reflection was needed. After seven years of being everything he wanted me to be, it was time to be myself. Who knew I was so self-involved? How do you make a girl happy whom is already happy alone? It is damn near impossible, honestly.
Spending the majority of my adult life in a relationship (two to be exact) one would think I would miss the companionship. Having been married and checking that off my adult "to-do list" was surprisingly liberating. You never know what a treat having the whole bed to yourself is. You now have free rein to go to bed when you please without worrying about keeping someone up while you crush candy and listen to Chelsea Handler rant about celebrities. Not having to get ready in the pitch dark with only the 15 watts from the nightlight to guide your way. And later on having to explain all the bruises on your shins from fumbling around in the darkness. Why do men think any bruise on your body is the result of a sex act? I'm almost certain that only S&M chics walk away from sex with bruises.
Going on a date with "Happily Single" is equivalent to being on Dating Jeopardy. "I'll take Most Important Holiday for $200 Alex", says Guy You Met At Boomerjack's. "What is the Superbowl?", he replies proudly recalling your meeting at a sports bar. She eyes him with disgust. Of course no woman in her right mind is going to end the night before eating, but she has mentally checked out of the date and is now surveying the rest of the scene to see whom she might meet on the way to the restroom. Now prior her previous relationship, when she was wildly optimistic about the possibility of men being like a Build-A-Bear Workshop, she would of seen Boomerjack's as a great fixer-upper. Alas, being on a date with Happily Single, you have just written your own pink slip.
It is not an impossible feat to win the heart of this elusive character. It is ,however, helpful to have a few sales techniques in your back pocket. Any great salesperson knows that you change your pitch based on your target audience. She does not want to meet your family so take them off the table for now. This is not a zero to sixty type of gal. What you do have is a certain set of skills in your arsenal. One thing a single girl hates more than anything is car and home maintenance. She hates it so much that many of her Facebook statuses are cries for help in hopes that a guy friend or husband of a friend will pity her and offer to help. Offering to take her car for an oil change is worth more that ten flower deliveries. If you can fix household emergencies you are her modern day knight in shining armor.
It is apparent why Happily Single remains alone. Not needing a man to make your life fulfilling gives one the freedom of not settling. Without the tic tock of a biological clock reminding her to mate, you can focus on common interests. This does not mean that she has given up on dating. For her, dating is an adventure.
The theory that you will meet your soulmate when you are not looking is ludicrous. The only women known to find love when they were not looking were Julia Roberts on Sunset Blvd and Sandra Bullock checking her mail at the Lake House. It only happens in the movies.
“Most men claim to desire driven, independent and confident women. Yet when confronted with such a creature reverence often evolves into resent. For just like women, men need to be needed.” ―Tiffany Madison