The best relationship partners are the ones with good moral character. Read that sentence again. Although we all have flaws, you need to truly acknowledge early warning signs that the person you are dating doesn’t have the good moral character that will make you go the distance. You also have to acknowledge whether you have a good moral character as well.
You can check whether you have a good character or not by the way you treat others and judge others. If you find yourself attacking women that have the traditional woman traits, you may need to step back and check why you feel so hostile about the traditional woman role.
As a woman you can have both a stable professional and personal lifestyle without being afraid you are too traditional or moderate in your gender or sex roles. It is okay to introduce your man to others with utmost respect. It doesn’t take power away from you to respect your man. Do not let other women make you feel like putting your man in a positive light is a crime. If he is doing the best for you and himself, show you are proud of his actions.
A woman I tremendously respect for blending the modern woman with the traditional woman is First Lady Michelle Obama. She is a Princeton and Havard educated Black woman. Most of her career she out earned her husband, President Barack Obama. First Lady Michelle Obama is well spoken and she is always ready to stand for a good cause. She is also always ready to take on being the best mom and wife responsibility. Juggling all those roles is tough, but it is possible. She ,as well as my mother, make me look forward to being a mom and wife someday. Just like First Lady Michelle Obama, I am a modern woman but my natural instincts also inspire me to have a family lifestyle.
I like to make it clear you do not need to take on the role of passive woman or a ‘yes' woman to find a good man. In fact, the best men love women that do not accept being bystanders in a committed relationship. If you find yourself with a man who never lets you have a say or makes you feel like you will never be enough for him, immediately leave him. He is not worth your time, body or soul. Be influential. Be educated. You can have the man of your dream simply by appreciating yourself. Really appreciate yourself because loving yourself is the only way to accept real love, love that uplifts you.
The day I chose to not only be proud of myself but my partner is the day I felt true acceptance in love like no person in the world has loved me. It started with loving myself first and reconnecting with God. By valuing myself and doing my best to live a life I think God would be proud of me to live has truly made me reevaluate what a good man is for me. This balance between being a modern woman and enjoying the traditional woman roles was my choice. It was a choice I made freely and I was proud to make freely.
As I learn how to appreciate myself more, I am able to freely choose what type of role I have in life as a woman. You can do the same.
If you think differently about the world as less black and white, you will find yourself getting not only what you want but what you need out of a committed relationship. You do not have to title yourself as just a feminist, girlfriend, wife or mom. You can wake up and decide what you are okay being everyday. You can live your life as you see fit. It is all about living your life in moderation to get what you want and need. Come off warm and welcoming but never feel pressured to settle for less than you deserve. If a man is making you feel uncomfortable let him know how you feel. Use the statement ‘I feel’ and go from there. Do not attack him for his shortcoming. Remain positive and acknowledge how you feel for you and him.
It is okay to want equal treatment and respect in a relationship.
In the world of the modern woman, there is more than one acceptable model for being a great woman. There will always be critics. What is important is how you feel about yourself. If you enjoy sex, it’s okay to enjoy sex. If you enjoy being a career driven woman, it’s okay being that woman. If you are proud being a mom, it’s okay to say I am a mom and I am proud.
Balance you life through self-appreciation and a good man will appreciate you to the fullest. You will also not be shamed by those that disapprove your lifestyle.
So how do you start feeling great about yourself and attract that amazing man who knows you are the one?
You will feel good being with him through both the good and bad times. He will be proud to show you to the world and more importantly he will respect your family. He will start to tell you how he feels about life, about himself - yes, that includes him feeling anxious or disappointed. He doesn’t have to keep everything bottled inside him. He is human just like you. Let him know being with you is a safe place for him.
Modern men want much of the same things women want out of romance and a family lifestyle - time for love and family while still having a good professional career.