Is carrying more than your grief your responsibility?

Is carrying more than your grief your responsibility when trying to rebuild the heart after human loss, divorce, separation, pet loss, or a miscarriage?

Picture this imagery; two neighbors have lost their homes, (one of the varieties of grief listed above), to the same massive landslide. In order to recover from this landslide each neighbor must deal with the spiritual, emotional, mental, and maybe financial debris from the loss.

Sam (neighbor number one) seeks personal counsel and professional advice outside the ravaged neighborhood on how to build a new home, (being referenced as the heart). David (neighbor number two) doesn’t seek counsel or advice from anyone about anything.

After a few weeks David begins carrying all of his debris onto the property, (being referenced as the life of Sam). Their time together is now spent with David spewing out emotional trigger-filled stories that lead to physical breakdowns, delusional babble, and plots that avenge the person or persons they feel are responsible for their loss and pain. By this time, they’re both drowning in all the debris.

Sam has burned months of daylight hours trying to empower, and support David, and remain focused on his rebuild. David hasn’t even broken ground.

An intense will to preserve self takes hold of Sam; he consults with his contractor, (being reference as a grief coach). Sam revises his rebuild plan. This action blocks all communication and contact with David; inevitably their relationship dies. David is now left with more grief than before the initial landslide.

All on his own Sam builds a solid weatherproof concrete wall around his entire property. He completes his rebuild plans. The success of his rebuild is solely due to Sam hiring a contractor. After a grief landslide it is your responsibility to rebuild your heart-not someone else’s.

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, Santa Monica Grief & Bereavement Examiner

Monique Antoinette, a published author of “Grateful For Grief Seasons of Transformation”, was the mother of a son who ended his life by suicide. Her gracious recovery turned her into an extraordinary Grief Coach, Author & Entrepreneur and now You Tube host of a new Lifestyle Show. Her grief...

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