Intuition or insecurity: Is he really cheating or is it all in your mind?

You’re almost certain he’s cheating on you. But you have nothing to go on, other than a “nagging feeling” that something’s “not quite right.” Despite your best efforts to put this thought out of your mind, it haunts you day and night.

Is he really cheating? Or is it all in your mind?

How can you be sure?

Don’t be so quick to dismiss your intuition. It may not be all in your mind.

According to one study, 85% of the women who “had a feeling” that their husbands or boyfriends were cheating on them, turned out to be right. In fact, there are several other infidelity studies that bear that out.

But, again the question arises: How can you tell for sure?

Subconsciously Picking Up the Subtle Signs

The idea that a woman can intuitively sense that her spouse or significant other may be cheating is not as far-fetched as it may seem.

Believe it or not, there’s actually a scientific explanation for what’s taking place.

What we sometimes perceive as intuition is actually the subconscious mind at work.

When a woman gets that “feeling” that her husband or boyfriend is having an affair, her subconsciously mind is probably picking up one or more of the many subtle signs of infidelity. See 17 Subtle Signs That Your Marriage or Relationship is About to End

So while on a conscious level you may be unaware of these subtle telltale signs, your subconscious mind can pick them up.

Does that mean that if you suspect your spouse or significant other of cheating, he probably is?

Maybe, maybe not.

It’s important not to confuse intuition with insecurity. Make sure you know the difference between the two.

Here’s how you can tell.

When It’s Probably NOT Intuition

There’s always a chance that your suspicions are totally without merit. If one or more of the statements below apply to you, it could be insecurity rather than intuition at work.

You are suspicious by nature.
You have a natural distrust of the opposite sex.
You have issues with jealousy.
You are emotionally insecure.
You suffer from low-self esteem.
You are paranoid.
You have an overly active imagination.
You always think the worst.

If you recognize yourself in any of the statements above, the likelihood is very high that your suspicions, no matter how strong they are, may be groundless, after all. The reality is you’re your suspicions could be a byproduct of your insecurities, or a figment of your imagination.

Intuition - a Strong Indicator of Infidelity

“I think he’s cheating – how can I be sure”

“I know he’s cheating, but I have no real proof.”

I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve had infidelity consultations with suspicious wives or girlfriends that started out with statements similar to the ones above.

Over the past 15+ years, I’ve encountered hundreds of women who suspected their mates of infidelity, but felt they had nothing to go on.

When questioned as to why they felt so strongly about this, or asked what made them feel that their husbands or boyfriends were cheating, they responded with answers similar to those below.

“I don’t know – it’s just a feeling that I have.”

“I just know he is, but I can’t explain how I know.”

And almost invariably, after looking through the 21 lists of telltale signs in Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs, they will pick out dozens of the many subtle signs of infidelity listed there, and tell me that their husband or boyfriend said or did some of those very same things.

Even though they weren't aware of doing so at the time, they had already subconsciously picked up many of those subtle signs. See 17 Subtle Signs That Your Marriage or Relationship is About to End

Most women are surprised to learn that many seemingly insignificant things they saw or heard -- things that happen right in front of their face -- are subtle indications of that their spouse or significant other is having an affair.

The subtle signs are always there. Because the cheater himself is usually unaware that he’s displaying these subtle signs, he makes no effort cover them up. But it’s these subtle signs that will give even the most experienced or curious cheater away. See 5 Things about Signs of Infidelity

Knowing what to look for is the key. If you know what to look for you’ll spot the signs right away. See 40 Fatal Signs That You’re about to Be Dumped

Don’t Speculate – Investigate!

No matter how strong your suspicions are, never confront your spouse or significant other about having an affair, or accuse him of cheating unless you have solid proof. See 12 Valid Reasons to Snoop if You Suspect Your Mate May Be Cheating on You

Falsely accusing your husband or boyfriend of cheating on you on the basis of suspicion alone can be as damaging to your marriage or relationship as infidelity itself.

So before you confront him, make sure you're on solid ground.

If you’re haunted by thoughts that he might be having an affair, take the necessary steps to confirm or disprove what you suspect. See Before Searching for Signs of Infidelity, Prepare Yourself for What You Might Find

Looking for corroborating signs of infidelity will help you determine whether your intuition is on target, or whether insecurity is clouding your judgment, causing you to suspect your mate. See 5 Things about Signs of Infidelity

To be absolutely sure, there are 3 things you can do:

Discreetly check things out with the help of a good infidelity reference book that can help you spot the subtle signs of infidelity. See The Best Investment You Can Make in Your Relationship for 2013

If you can afford one, hire a private investigator to check your partner out.

Use an online service to legally gather additional information on your mate. See Best Advice on Using Online Services to Catch or Monitor a Cheating Mate and Using a GPS Tracker to Catch Your Cheating Mate May Be Illegal in your State

The future of your marriage or relationship may depend on whether or not you can prove or disprove what you suspect.

You need to know for sure. So it’s to your advantage to discreetly check things out.

=====

Please feel free to tweet this article, like it, or share it with your Facebook friends.

For practical, immediately-usable advice from an infidelity expert who has been researching infidelity for almost 20 years, visit www.NationalInfidelity.com, or see the list of articles below.
___________________________________________

Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity and popular infidelity issues in the news. She is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com, the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog. Ruth also writes the Celebrity Infidelity column (www.CelebrityInfidelity.com) and the National Infidelity column (www.NationalInfidelity.com) for Examiner.com. To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, or have Ruth speak at your next event, call 718 592-6029 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com

=====

For practical, immediately-usable advice from an infidelity expert who has been researching infidelity for almost 20 years, visit www.NationalInfidelity.com, or see the list of articles below.

17 Subtle Signs That Your Marriage or Relationship is About to End

40 Fatal Signs That You’re about to Be Dumped

How to Get a Cheater to Tell You the Truth about His Affair

9 Reasons a Cheater Will Lie About His Affair

5 Things about Why So Many Cheaters Don’t Get Caught

5 Things about Signs of Infidelity

12 Valid Reasons to Snoop if You Suspect Your Mate May Be Cheating on You

Best Advice on Using Online Services to Catch or Monitor a Cheating Mate

Using a GPS Tracker to Catch Your Cheating Mate May Be Illegal in your State

Before Searching for Signs of Infidelity, Prepare Yourself for What You Might Find

Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (e-book version with Affair Recovery information)

The Top 10 Signs of Infidelity – and Why You Can’t Rely on These Telltale Signs