Just this past week I heard someone interviewed on the radio and they said, “True intimacy is communication”. For some reason that hit home for me and I had one of those moments when all the chatter in my head stopped and those words of wisdom bounced around my skull. That simple statement on intimacy feels like a truth and it’s been on my mind ever since. Intimacy means closeness. Outside of the obvious sexual connotation it means being linked or connected, heart, mind, and soul.
In relationship, things fall apart when honest and open communication stops. Once the channels of communication can safely be opened again a relationship can grow. As someone interested in complementary alternative medicine this made me think about what true intimacy means for healing? If communication is intimacy and intimacy is connectedness then what might we not be doing; what might we not be connecting to when we are experiencing dis-ease?
More and more research into the origins of disease is showing us that stress and anxiety are possibly the number one causations for illness. We even now call certain ailments stress diseases – heart attacks, skin disorders, even some cancers. It is my belief that much disease can be healed or lessened when we develop a relationship with it. That probably sounds odd. What I’m asking for you to do is create intimacy with your dis-ease; the part of you that needs care. So often we want to cut out and drug the dis-ease. We feel ashamed by it and even fearful of it. What would it be like to actually get to know it? To listen to it? Who knows, maybe the disease even has a face and a name? If creating intimacy with others makes for a better relationship and communication is the way to do that then let’s start talking with the parts of us that need healing. Maybe they just need to be listened to.
As a hypnotherapist I find this to be true. Addressing the emotional side of dis-ease can create health. For example, a client with skin disorders may have learned to direct his anxiety to his skin because it’s a safe way for him to process his worry and fears without actually having to deal with them on a conscious level. His body (the skin in this case) is doing the emotional processing for him. When he can bring awareness to the things that are stressing him out, current life situations and/or even long buried memories, he can then release them and thus stop the skin disorder. His skin no longer needs to do the work of processing his emotions for him.
This can be true for a lot of dis-ease. A woman with throat cancer may have never spoken her truth therefore her throat is holding all her pain and thus dealing with the suppressed emotions by becoming sick. A man with lower back problems may be taking responsibility for everyone else and not taking care of himself thus his back gives out as a way to bring his attention back to him and force him to take care of himself.
Most every illness has an emotional element to it and when we can speak with that element without shame or making it wrong or bad then we can repair the damaged relationship between the person and it. Communication is truly intimacy and it’s best to start with YOU first. When was the last time you really listened to yourself? To your wants and dreams? Move past the chatter that’s afraid to look into the dark crevices of your soul and get talking. You owe it to yourself. You owe it to your health so take a moment to listen and pay attention to YOU and Create Your Health.