Interview with Charlotte-area mother of adopted Polish child

Susan, a Charlotte-area mother of an adopted Polish child,
answered interview questions about her family's adoption
experience.*

In June of 2007, Susan and Michael of Charlotte adopted their daughter, Anna, from Poland. In Part 1 of this interview, Anna's mother, Susan, discussed her experience using the local adoption agency, St. Mary International Adoptions. In this final installment, she corresponded via email to answer more questions about the Poland adoption process.

Part 2 -

Q: What was the travel experience like?

A: The "in-country" facilitators are very professional and courteous. They work hard to make the process as easy and stress-free as possible. The time spent in Poland is full of excitement, uncertainty, and stress. Certainly the biggest obstacles were the language barrier and lack of “creature comforts”. Very few people speak English, and the living arrangements are very modest.

It is important to verify through references that the “in-country” representatives are supportive, professional, and knowledgeable. I can’t imagine how difficult the adoption process would be without a strong support network in the foreign country. When we were in Poland, we learned that we had to relinquish control and have faith in the professionals who were working on our behalf. I have met several adoptive couples who have trouble during this time because they want to know every detail and conversation. However, we have found there are times when parents need to step back, have faith in their adoption representatives and not interfere in the work they do every day. I tell adoptive parents that the time "in country" should be spent bonding and loving their child. I feel it is not a time to be overly stressed or involved in the paperwork.

Q: Please tell readers about the day you adopted Anna.

A: It was a very surreal day. My husband and I were both very nervous going before the Judge. We worried that we would say something wrong. But, our adoption representatives did a great job preparing us for the hearing and explaining the procedures.The Judge was very stern and direct. But, after the Judge issued the adoption decree, she smiled and said that this was the best part of her job – seeing a child being adopted into a nice family. It was so heartwarming to hear this tough Judge say that about our family. After the decree was issued, we felt both excitement and fear! It was the moment we realized that we now had a child, and it was a very sobering and happy time!

Q: How has Anna adjusted to her new family and community?

A: Our child has adjusted wonderfully to her new family and friends. I credit the successful adjustment to Poland’s bonding process. Poland requires a three-week bonding period. Although this sounds difficult, it is a time when the parents and child are able to be together without any interruptions or normal day-to-day responsibilities. Parents are able to focus solely on bonding with their new child. In my experience, this is the time to begin to become a family. It fostered a critical and healthy adjustment between Anna and ourselves. In addition, I strongly recommend reading books prior to travelling on the bonding process and attachment issues. It is so important to have an understanding of the attachment process, in order to be prepared to recognize and respond to a newly adopted child’s needs.

When we came home, I took our daughter to a pediatrician who specializes in children adopted internationally and had her evaluated by the NC Children’s Developmental Services Agency. Our child’s psychological and physical health was excellent. Since she was in an orphanage, she had some delays with her gross motor skills. However, within several months, she quickly caught up. Our daughter is a very loving, intelligent, and happy child. We feel so blessed that she was brought into our lives and is part of our family.

Q: Would you recommend St Mary International Adoptions and the Poland adoption program to other families?

A: Absolutely! In fact, if we were to adopt another child, I would simply pick up the phone and call St. Mary International Adoptions. I would not even consider another agency.

Read Part 1 of this interview - Local mom discusses her family's experience with St. Mary International Adoptions

For more info: International Adoption - Poland (St. Mary International Adoption), Contact St. Mary International Adoptions

*photo courtesy of Susan of Charlotte

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