Do you know someone, perhaps it’s you, who has stayed with a partner after discovering he or she has cheated? It is life altering to be betrayed by the person whom you’ve given your unconditional love.
Infidelity, as defined by Google.com means, “the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner.”
It seems to be the ultimate betrayal and if you decide to stay together and to overcome this hurdle, to forgive the person who was wreckless with your love, how can ever gift your trust again?
In the book Infidelity: A Survival Guide, authored by Don-David Lusterman PhD, he talks about phases of recovery and the need to find a new way to rekindle this romance.
The bottom line, you are a new person, betrayed, you have been scorned and you are different. Both you and your partner must accept this; you must bereave the feeling of the past, the vision of your old relationship, and start anew.
And, for the person who cheated, to be genuine in this new future relationship, honesty must come to the forefront. If you wish to stay and make this relationship work, honesty is key, it is what the new trust will be built upon.
All affairs and dishonesties must be shared. Otherwise, if not and something surfaces later, kiss your 2nd chance goodbye. Step up to the detail of your adultery.
It will be helpful to seek counseling so you can openly review the marriage, conflict-resolute concerns, put a structure in place reflective of rules of communication and work to protect one another.
Only you know if all of the work is worth it, the judgment of others will be harsh but it is your choice whether to reconcile or divorce. Either way, you will be encountering a lot of change and heartache. For this, give yourself time to heal.