If you were to ask someone what single event would be the deal breaker in a relationship, it would undoubtedly be infidelity. Whether dating, engaged, or married, the one act of selfishness that can destroy the fabric of any bond is unfaithfulness.
While other acts such as lying, stealing or mental or physical abuse can be damaging, nothing compares to the humiliating devastation of cheating. This leaves a partner with numerous unanswered questions, with hours and days spent on internal examination. The never-ending search for where a person went wrong to have this happen to them becomes a morbid obsession.
So what exactly precipitates this behavior? Is there a way to protect the heart and soul of someone who dedicates it to the person they have entrusted their affection to? Unfortunately, dating, and even marriage can be a roll of the dice. A traumatizing event such as infidelity can cause a complete rewind of the relationship, provoking an attempt to uncover warning signs that may have been overlooked.
Sadly, there are rarely any hints to be uncovered while deep in the relationship. Being close to the fire, it’s not possible for someone to recognize where the flames are coming from. Typically, a partner is so engaged in the other, faults, lying or deception is overlooked or ignored, because it’s inconceivable this would be used against them. Then comes the denial and lies to cover the tracks of the dishonesty.
Once uncovered, there’s a cascade of emotions that invade the mind of the victim of infidelity. Feelings of rage, hate, desire for vengeance, emptiness and darkness invade the soul. After the period of introspection is over, the dark period takes over, systematically shutting down the heart and emotion. Feelings become replaced by a void of emptiness and solitude. Devoid of feelings, the mind takes over and begins to set priorities and guidelines.
Before all is shut down, the victim ponders the possibility of allowing the other partner to return to I had a , and absolve himself/herself of their behavior. After all, everyone deserves a second chance in life. This does not always pan out as well as one would hope. To quote the famous phrase, “A leopard never changes its spots”. Some people are incapable of changing their behavior and actions.