Only 7 states still have alienation of affection laws on their books.  But a
wife may still be able to sue her husband's mistress, even if she doesn't
live in one of these 7 states.  Photo:  istockphoto.com/Pamela Moore

Only 7 states still have alienation of affection laws on the books which allow a wife (or husband) to sue a third party (male or female) for “willful and malicious interference” in the couple’s marriage.

These laws not only allow a wife to sue her husband’s mistress, they also allow a husband to sue his wife’s lover. See How to Sue Your Husband’s Mistress – Basic Things You Need to Know.

The 7 states that allow alienation of affection lawsuits are Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Hampshire, North Carolina, New Mexico, South Dakota, and Utah.

What If You Don’t Live in One of These 7 States?

If a wife with a cheating husband lives in one of the other 43 states that no longer have alienation of affection laws on the books, she may still be able to sue her husband’s mistress, if one of the following holds true:

• Her husband’s mistress lives in one of the 7 “alienation of affection states.”

• The actions or behavior which contributed to the alienation of affection occurred in one of these 7 states.

NOTE: This article is not intended to be legal advice. Only an attorney who specializes in alienation of affection lawsuits can determine if you have a legitimate case.

What does an Alienation of Affection Lawsuit Involve?

An alienation of affection lawsuit is not limited to a physical infidelity or sexual affairs. It can also apply to emotional infidelity, or cyber affairs. (also known as internet affairs or online affairs).

But alienation of affection is not easy to prove because 3 very specific types of proof are required:

• Proof that there was actually some degree of love between the wife and her husband
• Proof that the husband’s love for his wife was alienated or destroyed
• Proof that willful, malicious, or intentional conduct on the part of the husband’s mistress contributed to, or caused the loss of that love. 
 

NOTE: A licensed private investigator can help you obtain court admissible proof See When Should You Hire a Private Investigator to Check Out a Cheating Mate?

Criminal Conversation Lawsuits

There is another closely related type of lawsuit called “criminal conversation” which is very similar to alienation of affection, but is much easier to prove – criminal conversation.

Criminal conversation is a legal term for actual sexual intercourse between the husband and his mistress. Proof of extramarital sex is required.

Because there are certain similarities between alienation of affection lawsuits and criminal conversation lawsuits, the two are often combined.

For more information, see the article entitledSuing Your Husband’s Mistress for Alienation of Affection and Other Legal Forms of Revenge - part 2

NOTE: This article is not intended to be legal advice. For further clarification, see Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation.  It is also advisable to consult an attorney who specializes in alienation of affection lawsuits, to see if you have a legitimate case.

How Much Money Can I Get if I Win?

Amounts awarded in alienation of affection lawsuits vary from several thousand dollars to several million.

In March 2010, a jury awarded $9 million to Cynthia Shackelford of North Carolina in an alienation of affection/ criminal conversation lawsuit against her husband’s mistress. See Betrayed Wife Sues Husband’s Mistress for $9 Million and Wins – You Can Too – Part 1. But since the mistress has nowhere near that amount of money, it’s doubtful that Shackelford will ever collect.

In 2001, Christine Cooper of North Carolina, won a $2,000,000 judgment against her husband's lover.

Also in 2001, Thomas Oddo , a college wrestling coach won of $1.4 million from the doctor who had an affair with his wife.

One North Carolina law firm reports that in 1997 a woman was awarded $1.2 million in a similar case.

A North Carolina jury granted a betrayed husband $243,000.

Another husband was won $1.4 million. Although the decision was later reversed, the husband still ended up with $500,000.

But not everyone who wins an alienation of affection lawsuit is able to collect.

How to Make Sure You Can Collect

If a wife actually hopes to collect on an alienation of affection lawsuit against her husband’s mistress, if the court rules in her behalf, there are 3 things she need to do:

• Find out the identity of her husband’s mistress
• Get court admissible proof.
• Make sure the mistress has sufficient assets to make a lawsuit worthwhile.

A reverse phone search or e-mail search can help a wife find out the name of her husband’s mistress, if she doesn’ already know. An online background check can uncover information about assets the mistress may own.  See What You Need to Know About Your Husband’s Mistress and Why.

Other Ways You can Benefit from Suing Your Husband’s Mistress

Apart from financial gain, there are other ways a wife can benefit from suing her husband’s mistress.

If a mistress finds out that her financial well-being is in jeopardy because of her involvement with a married man, she may unwilling to continue the affair. See Suing the Mistress Can Sometimes Be a Good strategic Move.

This may discourage a persistent mistress, from aggressively pursuing her married lover, and give the couple an opportunity to seek professional help in getting their marriage back on track.

NOTE: This article is for information purposes only, and is not intended to be legal advice. See Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation, for further clarification. And consult an attorney who specializes in alienation of affection lawsuits to see if you have a legitimate case.

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*** © copyright 2010 Ruth Houston All Rights Reserved.

Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity and popular infidelity issues in the news. She is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com , the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog. To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, or have her speak at your next event, call 718 592-6029 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com  

 For more practical advice on dealing with your husband’s mistress, see the articles below: 

Suing the Mistress Can Sometimes Be a Good strategic Move

How to Sue Your Husband’s Mistress – Basic Things You Need to Know

Will He Leave You for Her?

What You Need to Know about Your Husband’s Mistress and Why

Elin Nordegren, Like Most Betrayed Wives Today, Checked Out Her Husband’s Mistresses Online

5 Common Excuses Cheating Men Use to See Their Mistresses

Betrayed Wife Sues Husband’s Mistress for $9 Million and Wins – You Can Too – Part 1

Suing Your Husband’s Mistress for Alienation of Affection and Other Legal Forms of Revenge part 2

How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand  (free tip sheet)

How to Legally and Financially Get Revenge on a Cheating Spouse  (free tip sheet)

Infidelity Resources to Help You Catch a Cheating Mate (contains information on how to run an online background check on a mistress)