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Online infidelity, internet infidelity. cyber affairs, cyber cheating, online affairs, internet affairs,

All these terms describe a type of infidelity that has become a growing menace to marriages and committed relationships today.

Divorce attorneys have reported a significant increase in the number of divorces and separations resulting from online or internet infidelity.

But how can you tell if your partner is having an online affair?

What are the signs of online or internet infidelity?

Most online infidelity is characterized by 3 types of behavior, each with its own set of telltale signs

     •      secretive or suspicious behavior
     •      nervous behavior
     •      defensive behavior

Common Signs of Online Infidelity

Below are three common telltale signs of online infidelity..

• a sudden increase in the amount of time your spouse or significant other spends on the computer. He or she begins spending excessive on the computer

• using the computer at odd or unusual times of the day or night. Getting up to use the computer late at night after you’ve gone to sleep, or first thing in the morning for an early morning e-mail exchange

• using the computer during the time the two of you would normally spend together,

Behaviors That Characterize Online Infidelity

Secretive or suspicious behavior
     • constantly changing the passwords to their e-mail account(s).
     • deleting computer history.
     • password protecting their computer or laptop when they never did so before.
     • insisting on privacy when surfing the Net.
     • moving the family computer to a locked room, or more private area of the home.
     • taking their laptop to another room to use it.

Nervous behavior
     • repeatedly looking over their shoulder, or glancing around while using the computer.
     • checking to see where you are before they go online.
     • making a concerted effort to position the screen away from your view.
     • blocking your view of the monitor or laptop screen if you get too close. 
     • becoming overly possessive of their computer or laptop, their passwords, their e-mail account   when they openly shared these things before.

Defensive behavior
     • getting angry or lashing out at you if you inquire about their online activities.
     • insisting that the person they are constantly communicating with online is “just a friend.”
     • stubbornly clinging to the belief that online infidelity or cyber affairs are not “real” infidelity, 
     • accusing you of being jealous of their online friend.
     • accusing you of prying into their personal affairs.

These are just a few examples of the kind of behavior that can alert you to the fact that your spouse or significant other is involved in an online affair.

Chapter 23, Computer Use, in Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs, lists 30 computer-related telltale signs that can indicate online infidelity. For more information about this book, click here.

A Fool Proof Test for Online Infidelity

If you see an abundance of these telltale signs of online infidelity, or these behaviors, and your spouse or significant other adamantly insists that there’s nothing going on, there’s one way to find out for sure. Try this foolproof test.

Ask to sit beside your partner and observe the exchange of correspondence back and forth, and watch how he or she reacts. If you get objections, excuses, reasons why this can’t be done, then you have your answer as to how innocent or harmless their internet friendship really is.

*** © copyright 2009 Ruth Houston

Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news. She is the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and blogs at Infidelity News and Views.


For more information about online infidelity, cheating spouses, and extramarital affairs, see: 

The Truth about Cyber Affairs and Online Infidelity

Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs

Is He Cheating? Is She Cheating – 21 Ways to Tell  (free tip sheet)

Infidelity 101: What Should I Do If I Think He or She is Cheating on Me?

13 Things Everyone Should Know about Signs of Infidelity

Emotional Infidelity Usually Leads to Sexual Infidelity

5 Practical Reasons to Search for Signs of Infidelity

7 More Compelling Reasons to Search for Signs of Infidelity

Infidelity 101: How Do You Catch a Cheating Husband?

When Should You Hire a Private Investigator to Check Out a Cheating Mate