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Improving our relationships

When starting a relationship, most of us have a list of expectations. For the most part, people disappoint us not for what they’ve done, but because they haven’t lived up to our expectations. This disappointment creates a negative backlash that may destroy relationships.

In order to change our perspective, our focus shouldn’t be on expectations, but on God.

One has to look no further than our relationship with God. While God has expectations on how we need to live our lives, he also knows we need help along the way. Simply put, we’re going to make mistakes and instead of being disappointed, he restores us. Instead of pushing Himself away from us, He draws closer. God knows what a solid relationship takes and in this model, we can learn much about successful relationships.

  • When we make mistakes, God forgives us.
  • When we hurt, God draws closer.
  • He trusts us to do His will and empowers us to do so.
  • He believes in us.
  • He doesn’t forsake or leave us in the face of adversity.
  • He always loves us in spite of what we do.

If we take this model of a successful relationship and apply it to our lives, we’ll begin to notice a difference. Instead of focusing on the reasons why someone disappoints us, we’ll look at them as God does. We’ll see them as someone needing the same love and guidance we seek. Instead of putting a distance between yourself and them, you’ll draw closer and your relationships will be stronger.

This process takes time. It may not work in every situation or scenario. However, the potential is there to strengthen our relationships. We’ll have closer friends, a happier marriage and we’ll begin to turn the corner on our perspectives.

God accept us for who we are. Isn’t it time to extend that same courtesy to others?

Feel free to contact me with any questions, critiques or suggestions.


  • Adie 5 years ago

    I agree in principle. There are situations in which rejection is necessary though, in the name of self-preservation. Unfortunately, a lot of relationships do have a shelf life, and it's important not to keep banging your head against a wall trying to make it otherwise, you know?

  • Sean 5 years ago

    I agree Adie.

    There isn't an easy or singular fix for all relationships and like you alluded to, not all relationships work. It's up to each person in the relationship to determine whether it's time to go their separate ways or if the relationship is worth saving.

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