If you're an American breastfeeding mother, you may have wondered why it's not only okay, but encouraged, to show your womanly curves and cleavage...
...except when you're breastfeeding.
This phenomenon may apply to women in other cultures as well, but my experience comes from American culture, not to mention the comments I've received from women from other cultures that go something like, "Americans, how ridiculous!" or "The men think the breasts are for them? Ha ha ha!"
After posting the article about Head Start banishing nursing moms to accommodate uncomfortable bystanders and purportedly to acclimate the children to a non-breastfeeding culture, one mom sarcastically said something to the effect of "Sure, it's okay to go around in a push-up bra and a see-through shirt, but breastfeeding is inappropriate!"
At that moment, I hit upon the solution to our problems: Immodest clothing for breastfeeding mothers. Forget the discreet nursing attire. Our mistake has been ignoring the cultural message. Show more, not less.
I was wearing a discreet nursing top when a sports-bra-wearing jogger took offense and called the police. If I had been dressed more like her, perhaps she would not have felt so uncomfortable.
I was struggling against my baby to keep my cleavage covered, with my eyes downcast in the expected shame, when a woman suggested "Someone needs to get that woman a bottle." Perhaps she mistakenly thought that I wanted to stay covered and a bottle was the obvious solution. If I had worn a much more revealing top, my baby would not have felt the need to wrestle it out of her face and I would not have appeared to need a bottle.
Discussion: Do you think Seattle is breastfeeding-friendly?
When Kim Kardashian said breastfeeding was "EWW," perhaps she would have felt more comfortable and have been able to relate to the breastfeeding mother if the woman had been wearing a fashionably immodest outfit. What do you think? Am I on to something?
Follow on Facebook: Seattle Breastfeeding Examiner
Blog: Breastfeeding Happiness
Comments
LOL- hey that's my philosophy! I looked into buying nursing tops but realized my low cut tops worked just as well. Besides I was a 34D before getting pregnant, so I've never really been able to cover up that much;) If your tits are popping out of your shirt already, it does makes whipping them out for a feeding all the easier!
thanks so much, Sara, for using your talent, time and space for this issue!! normalizing breastfeeding is one of the healthiest things we can do for society! :)
Yes, you are on to something! Time to be BOLD about breastfeeding in public. The only people feeling shame should be the oppressors of breastfeeding.
You're article is "booby trapped" with formula adds. Thought you might want to know.
I'm not at all surprised. People spend a lot of money on that stuff.
I always wear cleavage-revealing outfits, so it works fine to just pop out the top while I'm nursing. I've nursed for 13 years and I've never had a bad comment!!
Sara, you've done it again! Good job. I've always been for revealing tops anyway and like a previous comments I've learned low-cut cotton tops that stretch a little works great for breastfeeding day and night! And then there is no shirt on top of the baby driving her nuts. I think if more people forwent the discretion and just the whole boob hang out, this whole public adjustment to public breastfeeding would go by a whole lot faster!
I think that some people, while not uncomfortable with the idea of breastfeeding per se, might just not want to see it up close and personal--the breasts are intimate, after all--so breastfeeding mothers do need to think before "whipping them out" in public. There's nothing wrong with ducking aside to a less crowded space and trying a bit to cover up for the sake of those around you who might not want to see it all hanging out, for any reason, breastfeeding or otherwise (and also, for the sake of your baby, who might prefer to feed in peace).
That said, Sara, you have NAILED the double standard regarding showing off the girls. It's not fair that breastfeeding mothers are routinely shooed off to the side for exposing a bit of the chest while feeding their child, while non-mothers are encouraged to run around with as little fabric as possible covering their breasts. Especially appalling is when the criticism is coming from other women who routinely run about as scantily clad as possible (Kim K, shame on you!). Breastfeeding is one of the best ways to ensure good health for mother and baby alike, and we shouldn't be discouraging it!
Maybe if stores etc. are so offended by breastfeeding mothers, they should set aside a special "mothers only" area, with luxurious sofas and televisions, etc., so their shoppers will have a comfortable place to sit and relax while feeding their babies--as opposed to ordering them out of the store altogether! It's a thought!
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