“How do you know?”
“I don’t want to be married anymore…”
That’s how it starts. In the brain. The box. Here is a better explanation:
The baby is crying…it’s 2AM. You get up, get the baby. Feed the baby. Go back to the bedroom and look at your husband laying peacefully in bed. Instantly your head starts talking to you;
Why does he get to sleep all the time?
He just goes to work and does nothing to help me!
Why is it always me?
I have to do everything and I’m so alone!
Didn't he promise to cherish me?
Didn’t he promise love me?
Is this cherishing?
Is this love?
I hate him!
I hate this marriage!
That’s the box. You build this box of negativity. He goes in and it’s hard to open the box or let anything positive about him get in this box cause there is no room.
What if your changed your conversation? It’s 2AM and the baby is crying…. You get up. Get the baby. Feed the baby. Go back to your husband laying in bed and looking at him in bed your head talks. But it’s different this time….
What an amazing man…
He looks so peaceful laying there.
He works so hard.
He must be so tired of all the stress of having to work and take care of us.
Thank you for sharing your life with me…
Thank you for marrying me and fathering this baby with me…
I love you.
(You pull the covers up around him…maybe touch his back look to the sky and say “Thank you God…”)
See? See the difference? The first conversation is “hell” in your head. The 2nd? Ahhh…
It’s just as easy to talk to yourself both ways, but the outcome is different. The first puts stress and hate into your body. The 2nd…? Mmmm…puts love and respect.
What’s in your head? What do you think at night when your husband upsets you? During the day when he upsets you? Where does your head go? What do you say to yourself?
You have 2 choices. It IS your choice. Talk good or talk bad?
One leads you closer…one pulls you apart. What do you want for your family?
It’s your head…it’s your talk….it’s your life.
Wait. Lets say that over....
Once you take an oath of marriage....and agree to bring children into the world...NO...it's no longer about your life. It's THEIR life. Your spouse and your kids. You agreed to so many commitments before you married and brought babies into the world.
Where did that commitment go?
Find that commitment. Stick to it. Go to church. Find a hopeful friend. Stay.
All it takes is a change of attitude. A change of YOUR mind. Stop trying to change them. You can't. Just change YOU.
That's the only thing you can control. YOU.
If you aren't happy. It's your fault. No one else.
Stop blaming. Find your happiness....without changing anything but YOU!
Solution: Travel to http://www.retrouvaille.org/