As mentioned in a recent article, the Surface Pro has received nearly perfect reviews from consumers. Still, the Microsoft hating press (perhaps paid for by Apple) continues to paint the device as a failure, despite selling more than 500,000 units to date.
We thought it would be a perfect time to go into a fantasy world where the Surface Pro is built by Apple. Here is how the review would read:
Review: Apple Surface Pro breaks new ground in computer technology
Written by Jesus Diez and John Guller for the Boy Genius Retort
Oh my Gosh, have you seen it? Apple's new Surface Pro? It is one of the most groundbreaking technology products we have used to date. It is destined to change the course of mobile computing history. It's a 10.6-inch tablet that runs a full operating system called iOS Lion 8.
So what if there is no start button? Who needs one! Apple knows that this is the year 2013 and that start buttons are for dummies. People who don't realize how to find a program on this device don't deserve to use a computer in the first place!
Apple's Surface Pro has a gorgeous 10.6-inch 1080p screen with beautiful color reproduction. Some have noticed some light bleeding on units when in complete darkness. But, who cares?! Why would anybody want to use a tablet in complete darkness in the first place? They must have really bad personal hygiene or something.
Did we mention that the built-in battery lasts a full 4 to 5 hours and even more when the settings are easily adjusted? Isn't that just amazing for a unit this small and powerful? The battery life isn't as good as the iPad's, but why are we even comparing this to an iPad in the first place? It is more appropriate to compare it to the 11-inch MacBook Air, which also has an average battery life of about 4-5 hours.
We also appreciate that Apple offers an optional Touch Cover or Type Cover that costs only a little more than $100. By doing this, it shows that Apple cares about its customers so much. We understand how Apple could have never included one of these covers with the purchase of the Surface Pro; they would have never made a profit. Apple needs to make profits so they can continue delivering amazing products like the iPad mini and the Surface Pro.
Did we mention that Apple also includes a stylus with the Surface Pro? Get this -- the stylus actually attaches magnetically to the tablet. Isn't that cool? Apple, once again, is ahead of the curve. If they included a built in slot for the stylus, then the device would have possibly weighed more. We think the fact that this device weighs only 2 pounds is just amazing and would never compare it to a 1.3-pound tablet that doesn't run a full operating system.
Apple has made the first portable device that is just as powerful as a laptop. You can run Photoshop and other apps that usually bog down netbooks. You can even connect the Surface Pro to a full-size monitor and have virtually the same experience as a desktop computer. Because of Apple, there is no longer a need to carry a separate tablet along with a laptop. God Bless Apple. Without them, our lives would be nothing.
Twitter: @ddeino
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