Would anyone reading this article right now want to trade places with Los Angeles Clippers' Owner Donald Sterling right now? Even with his millions? (speaking of 'trading places,' Sterling's scenario makes one think of Dan Aykroyd's character in the 1983 comedy, Trading Places) My best guess is that only a clueless, homeless bum would trade places with Sterling, and even that street bum might have reservations.
Since my column centers on issues related to dating and relationships, and male-female interactions, I am not going to provide much commentary related to the whole racism aspect of the Sterling controversy. Instead, I want to focus on the 'Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby' arrangement between Sterling and the woman who recorded his comments, Vivian Stiviano.
First question: Why is prostitution illegal in most cities in the United States (as well as many cities internationally), but yet a 'Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby' relationship is not?
So a man can get arrested in many cities for offering a woman $100 - $1,000 in exchange for an hour or longer of enjoyable, satisfying intercourse or oral sex, but if that same man offers to pay a female college student's entire four-year tuition in exchange for 'sexual favors,' this is legal and acceptable?
- This article is worth reading: Sugar Daddy website, SeekingArrangement.com, has female coeds justifying prostitution
Second question: Why is it that many men are accused of being 'shallow' or even 'misogynistic' when they make it known that their only motivation for wanting to share a woman's company is for sexual pleasure and satisfaction, but very few of those outspoken feminists harshly criticize women who make it known that their only motivation for wanting to share a man's company is to be financially assisted and supported?
There is a woman named Taylor B. Jones who has a website that teaches women how to connect with a 'Sugar Daddy' type, and as far as anyone knows, there is no uproar about it. On the other hand, many feminist types have harshly criticized men who have 'Pickup Artist' websites, books, and eBooks that teach men how to seduce and have sex with women without spending one dime on them.
- Related article: Pickup Artists, Bad Boys, and Sexual Harassment (Note: I interviewed the Huff Post columnist who wrote this piece on my talk radio podcast program earlier this year; I hope to interview Ms. Jones as well)
Third question: Why do men take pride in having beautiful, sexy women as 'companions,' when that companionship cost them $100,000 - $10,000,000 or more?
Many men love to snag themselves a 'trophy' (i.e., a woman who looks good on their shoulder, and provokes some degree of envy from their male friends, acquaintances, and peers).
When is it truly worth it for a man to pay money for a woman who provides nothing more than pleasant 'eye candy' and sexual companionship? It is reported that Ms. Stiviano received approximately two million dollars in cash, financial favors, and materialistic gifts from Mr. Sterling in exchange for helping him present the ineffective facade that he was a 'player' or 'pimp' of some sort who had the natural seductive charm to attract and seduce younger women. We all know now what type of yield 'Pimp Daddy' Sterling received on his investment.
Here is the reality that most wealthy men just do not seem to get: If a man offers to compensate a woman for her romantic and/or sexual companionship, does this man honestly believe that this woman is going to respect him in the long-run? There is no worse example of being "desperate" for female companionship than having to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars or millions for it.
If a man wants to be the envy of other men, he needs to put himself in a situation where his designated female companion is young, beautiful and sexy and is earning just as much if not more money than him. If you are a man who is currently in the situation described above, your future bestselling book is waiting to be written, marketing, and sold (e.g., How to score with beautiful women who are wealthier than you! Think of the film Cocktail).
Fourth and final question: Which type of woman most deserves the disparaging label of 'whore': a woman who has engaged in sexual relations with eighteen men over the last twelve months, and none of those men 'wined and dined' her, bought her any materialistic gifts, or performed any financial favors for her? or a woman who has had sex with only one man over the last twelve months, but that man was only able to have sex with this woman after buying her some sort of high-priced gift and/or performing some sort of financial favor for her?
The very dictionary definition of a 'whore' is a woman who exchanges sexual companionship for money. So I would have to go with the second type of woman. The reality is, over half of the men and women in society would more-than-likely lean toward the woman who had multiple sex partners as being more deserving of the dreaded label 'whore.'
Donald Sterling has been vilified in the media, and rightfully so. Mr. Sterling has a documented history of racially prejudiced actions and behavior. Yet, there are very few articles that have been written over the last three days offering any sort of criticism of Ms. Stiviano's behavior. How can a woman ... who reportedly is half-Mexican and half-Black ... become the romantic and non-monogamous sexual companion of a man such as Sterling without being solely and specifically motivated by the desire for financial assistance and support? What message does this send to young women? "Sell your looks and sexual companionship to the highest bidder - regardless of the man's moral character or integrity." Wow.
- Related article #1: Harsh criticisms and labels are part of the package when you trade sex for money
- Related article #2: Are wealth, fame, power, and/or career success the keys to romantic bliss? Nope
Bottom line, I simply do not get why a man offering a woman $500 - $1,000 for one or two nights of short-term non-monogamous sex is considered "illegal," but yet, if that same man pays a woman hundreds of thousands of dollars (or millions) for long-term non-monogamous companionship, it is legal.
As a reader, what are YOUR thoughts about "prostitution vs. 'sugar dating'?"
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of books, including Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking and Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex. Currie's latest eBook, The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly is also available exclusively on Amazon.com in their Kindle format. You can also download a copy of Currie's eBook on your iPhone, Android Smartphone, or other Smartphone.
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