On September 17th, a group of men met in Canton, Ohio to form the birth of the National Football League.
But what if God created the NFL in seven days? If God created the NFL how would he have done it?
Not knowing how long it would take to create a stellar NFL team, God started by creating the Pittsburgh Steelers. God believed if all NFL teams followed the lead of the hard-working, blue-collar, Steelers the league would be in great shape.
By placing Art Rooney in the lead chair, God allowed the family a controlling interest for almost its entire existence. They’ve won six league championships and have 18 members enshrined in the Hall of Fame.
God had his work cut out for him on day two, creating the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears. He didn’t realize the competitive nature it would cause between the two organizations and the feud that would ensue.
In their first meeting in 1921, Chicago destroyed the Packers 20-0. To make matters worse, guard John (Tarzan) Taylor threw a sucker punch that broke the nose of Packers tackle Howard (Cub) Buck. It led to Packers-Bears rivalry we can’t get enough of.
On the east coast he created the New York Giants who have acquired eight NFL championships. He also created the San Francisco 49erswhich became one of the first pro teams based on the West Coast.
On day three God was exhausted. He didn’t realize all the strength it would take to create these powerful teams. Unfortunately he decided to “half-ass” it and created the Dallas Cowboys.
Joining the NFL in 1960 as an expansion team, they have become of the most successful teams in the history of the NFL. At the same time, they are nothing but an average team with an Owner/GM who continues to make nothing but an 8-8 team.
God knows that men can only take so much of other men. He knew he needed another aspect that would draw attention.
On day five he created cheerleaders. The Colts were the first team to have cheerleaders and a marching band.
Putting a little pep in his step, he created the Baltimore Ravens, Indianapolis Colts, and Philadelphia Eagles.
He also created the Washington Redskins who have captured ten NFL divisional titles and six NFL conference championships
God needed a little help and after hearing enough trash talk from Ralph Wilson he added eight teams of from the AFL. The New England Patriots, Buffalo Bills, Miami Dolphins, Cincinnati Bengals, Houston Texans, Kansas City Chiefs, Denver Broncos, and San Diego Chargers. He would leave out Al Davis and his Oakland Raiders, for the time being, because he reminded him of the devil.
God was tired after doing all that work and felt that may be enough, but listening to the devil he tried these things called P.E.D.’s and created the Seattle Seahawks.
He had so much energy he continued by creating the St. Louis Rams, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Carolina Panthers, New Orleans Saints, Atlanta Falcons, Minnesota Vikings, and Arizona Cardinals.
God was supposed to rest on day seven, but his work wasn’t complete. He quickly threw together the Cleveland Browns, New York Jets, Jacksonville Jaguars, Detroit Lions, and Oakland Raiders.
The five franchises were completed in a matter of only five minutes and have been a complete and utter disaster since.