A couple of days ago my ex-girlfriend broke up with me because she said she still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend. She said that she was not sure if she could remain faithful to me if they started hanging out. We talked about things and decided we would be friends until she stopped liking her ex and then we would see how things played out between us. My question is how long I should wait before I start texting her, flirting with her or hanging out? I really want us to get back together so I just need for you to tell me how much time I should give her before I make my move. Thank you for the help.
P.s. The two days leading up to our break-up we would text and she would not reply at strange times how should I take this?
Lost in love
Dear Lost in love,
Today I saw something very interesting as I was walking home from the NYC Marathon. There was a couple visibly in the midst of a spat walking down the street. The gentleman seemed to be miffed at his female companion, he was walking at a fast pace down the street as she followed behind him. At one point he yelled at her, in another language, to leave him alone. Now I don’t speak said language however some things are universal and the shooing of the hand and the raising of the voice let me know that he wanted her as far away from him as possible.
The thing is, I don’t think she understood the subtle clues he was throwing at her and instead of giving him space, she ran to catch up to him. He crossed the street at a fast pace, huffing mad, so she decided to follow him across the street. He walked even faster, if that was possible, and went back across the street trying to get away from her and what do you think she did, yes she followed him back across the street at a running pace to catch up with him. They kept this up until they were out of my sight.
I’m sure you’re wondering why I told you that story when it has nothing to do with your issue with your ex. Well Lost in Love, it has everything to do with your issue. Just like the female companion didn’t understand her beau’s very obvious clues to give him some space, even when he yelled at her and literally ran away, you don’t seem to get the clues your ex is sending you.
She’s not in to you anymore. She told you that she has feelings for someone else, her feelings for him are stronger than her feelings for you. She stopped answering your text prior to the break-up. The “lets remain friends” angle is what everyone says when they break up with someone because it makes them feel less like the bad guy. Just like the lady chasing the man, you are chasing a woman who wants to be chased, just not by you. Sorry about the harshness but I think you need to be jolted back to reality.
You need to move on and let her go. She is not going to come around and if she did would you really want to be second best? I know you may love her and I understand wanting to be with someone so bad you will do anything to make that happen. However, you should love yourself enough to know that you should not have to compete for someone’s love. Love is not a competitive sport, trying to win someone’s heart from someone else does not make for a healthy relationship.
Always remember, you should never start something you know you can’t finish, if you start down this path of trying to get her to love you more than she loves the ex, you will be trying to keep her love for the duration of your relationship. Find someone who wants you as much as you want them. Choose you. When you choose you, you never choose wrong.
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