Last month I got a thermoscan which came back a 5 out of 5 risk (the highest risk rating) for inflammation in my other breast (the one in which I had not had breast cancer). This was very frightening because I'd been told that if cancer spread (and its triple negative) I'd need chemo for the rest of my life and it would be terminal. I found out my thermoscan results the night before Valentine's Day and they couldn't schedule an MRI for two weeks. So, I finally had that MRI, two mammograms and a sonogram. I awaited the results for a few days and my mind would wander over to the scary possibilities.
Luckily, I had my weekly session with Christopher Dilts by phone. I started speaking to him after my cancer diagnosis two years ago and have happily been in remission. I call him my spiritual mentor and since my diagnosis I've worked with him to understand things on the soul level and to integrate the spiritual lessons that I am meant to learn in this lifetime and to increase my connection to my soul's purpose. Christopher is an angel intuitive, he's attended four energy schools, is a meditation teacher and a certified yoga instructor who has been doing spiritual counseling work for twenty years now. Anyway, while I was complaining about the possibility of losing all my hair and doing chemo all over again, and G-d knows what else, he told me this story:
There was a Zen monk who was mentoring a younger monk. The younger monk was talking about all the problems in his life while the older monk was quiet. The older monk poured a glass of water and handed it to the younger monk, saying, 'Here you are.' Then he poured a handful of salt and said, 'Here are your problems and karma,' and he put salt in that glass of water, 'Drink.' The young man drank the salty water and spit it out, saying 'It's bitter!' Then the older monk said, 'Follow me.' They walked to a beautiful lake and meditated there together. Then the older monk said, 'Now, here's the same handful of salt,' he said, pouring that salt into the lake. Then he took the same empty glass and took a cup of the lake water and handed it to the young monk , 'Drink.' 'It's very sweet!' the young monk exclaimed. 'What did you learn?' the older monk asked. 'Become big and open like this lake,' the young monk replied. 'Yes, we need to become bigger than our problems so that they seem smaller.'
Christopher explained that this is why we do our root- crown-heart meditation and deep breathing, because it moves us from fear into a state of love and lets us reconnect with our essence so that we can see things from an expanded perspective.
Often we become busy, overwhelmed and forget to take time to get back to this expanded space of love and to transition to that higher state of consciousness. We keep making the same salt drink and thinking that we can tolerate or assimilate it better. We become addicted to the same behavior with the same outcomes. But if we can make time to become the lake instead, we will feel more content even in the meantime.
Many people fog over at the idea of meditation, imagining that having a clear mind in the middle of chaos is too difficult. But, even if your 10 minutes of a guided meditation begins on your train commute, you can get headphones and practice being that lake then.
Here is a link to a guided 6 minute angelic meditation by Christopher Dilts as one free example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiYYzL3C06I
There are also free deep breathing apps you can use on your cell phone during your lunch break.
Maybe some of you are worried about breakup, illness, death, job loss or something else and feel consumed by it. If so take a moment to re-connect with your loving essence, to become expanded and you may discover a new way to perceive those same things.
I'm happy to say that my other three tests came back okay! The mri, sonnograms and mammograms were all fine, despite that thermogram test. Next week it will be 2 years in remission. I was grateful for this news and took it as a sign to get back to those life affirming things that I can control--like eating lots of vegetables, some fruit, making green juices, drinking water, exercising, doing this daily meditation, extra self-care and sleeping at least 7 hours. This also helps me be that lake as I go about my busiest days.
Think about what you can do to create that stillness and to connect with your source so you get the answers you need, even when things are chaotic or scary. That still voice within you is always there.
I know that I usually write about relationships, but as the NY Love Examiner I sometimes do chime in about ways to love yourself too:) And when I learn something helpful, I love to share it. So, take some baby steps with me in trying to be a lake. As William Butler Yeats once said, "I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore...I hear it in the deep heart's core."
I wish you much love, peace and health,