After losing on Friday night to the Seattle Derby Brats, the Fort Wayne Derby Brats headed back to Southgate roller rink on Saturday evening to take on the I-5 Rollergirls. Of course you initially think "well, I-5 defeated SDB earlier this year, so this bout against Fort Wayne should be an easy one." At least that's what typical derby logic says. Ahh, but lest we forget that this is junior derby that we're talking about here. And things almost never go according to logic in the junior derby loop. And Saturday night was no different.
Although it looked like that logic just might come true in the opening jam of the game. I-5's superstar jammer Lex Celerator broke out of the pack with lead jammer status and cruised her way to a 9-0 decision to kick off the festivities. But the Fort Wayne defense clamped down pretty good over the next four jams, surrendering only 3 points during that stretch. Meanwhile jammers Mak-Attack (3 points in the second jam) and Malibruise Barbie (5 points in the 5th jam) closed the gap for Fort Wayne.
Once again, that looked like a fleeting swing of momentum as Lex Celerator donned the jammers cap once again and tore up the track on her way to a 7-0 decision that made the score 21-10 in favor of I-5. But in the very next jam, Fort Wayne made the first of what turned out to be many double-digit scoring runs on the night. Cleo PAINtra slapped the star on her lid in the 9th jam and took advantage of the I-5 jammers time in the sin bin by blasting around the track for a 14-0 stomping that put Fort Wayne in the lead for the first time on the night.
But I-5 wasn't deterred all that much. They kept Fort Wayne off the board over the next 5 jams and 6 of the next 7. And while their defense was thwarting the Fort Wayne jammers at almost every turn, the I-5 jammers were busy posting small but effective point totals on the scoreboard. I-5 scored points in all seven of those jams, but never scored more than 5 points in any of them (the 5 points coming courtesy of Liv Vicious via the jammers panty pass in the 13th jam). But Lex Celerator, Liv Vicious, Hunt-Her Down and Death By Beth steadily slapped points up and found themselves with a 40-28 lead after that seven jam stretch.
But once again, Fort Wayne showed that they didn't come almost all the way across the country just to lay down and die. Aussie Bossie put the jammers cap on her dome in the 17th jam, earned lead jammer and came out the other end sporting a 10-0 decision that pulled her squad back to within 2 points. Once again after that, I-5 went back to slapping small point totals on the board without giving up anything to Fort Wayne over the next couple of jams. Lex Celerator (4-0 in the 18th jam) and Hunt-Her Down (3-0 in the 19th) extended the I-5 lead out just that little bit more. But then after a scoreless 20th jam, the 21st and final jam of the first half saw Fort Wayne's Cleo PAINtra pick up an impressive 10-3 decision that once again pulled Fort Wayne back to within two points. At the halfway mark of this bout, I-5 was clinging to a 50-48 lead.
And if you thought the first half was wild, it turned out to be tame compared to what was in store for the second half.
Lex Celerator got things off to a good start once again for I-5 as she earned lead jammer and put a 5-0 tally on the board to begin the second half. But Fort Wayne answered right back as Mak-Attack earned lead jammer in the second jam and chalked-up a 9-0 decision on the board that gave Fort Wayne the lead once again at 57-55.
But I-5 took control of the game once again after that. Over the next eight jams, they let Fort Wayne score in only six of those runs. By contrast, I-5 was able to score in six of those eight jams. But as had been their deal all night up to this point, they never claimed a double-digit jam during that stretch. Liv Vicious came closest in the 4th jam when she claimed a 9-0 bounty. But other than that, her and Lex Celerator simply earned lead jammer, picked up what points they could and called the jam off before Fort Wayne could counter any of the damage inflicted upon them.
After the first ten jams of the first half, I-5 had extended their lead out to 84-65. But as had been their motif all game long (and all weekend long, really), Fort Wayne re-entered the scoreboard fray in loud, stylish fashion. In the 11th jam of the second half, Mak-Attack once again slapped the jammers cap on her head and took advantage of the I-5 jammers time in the pokey by rattling-off a huge 17-0 decision that whipped Fort Wayne right back into it. Then down by only two points heading into the very next jam, Cleo PAINtra catapulted Fort Wayne into the lead again with a 7-0 decision that made the score 89-84.
But if there was ever a time for I-5 to pick up their first (and only) double-digit jam of the night, it was the 13th jam of the second half. And that's exactly what Liv Vicious did as she earned lead jammer during her initial pass and skated to the house with a 12-0 decision that gave I-5 the lead back almost as quickly as they had lost it at 96-89.
And that was just the beginning of perhaps one of the wildest final 10 minutes or so of a roller derby bout that you'll ever see!
After Mak-Attack claimed a 4-0 decision in the 14th jam of the second half, Aussie Bossie reclaimed the lead for Fort Wayne in the 15th jam with a 9-0 tally that gave Fort Wayne the lead again at 102-99. However, as the jam was in it's late stages, Aussie was sent packing to the pokey for an infraction.
And who do you think was selected as I-5's executioner in the 16th jam? Well, if you guessed Lex Celerator, you chose the most obvious and correct answer. And Lex proved why she is one of the very best at what she does in all of roller derby as she earned lead status and levied a 9-0 fine on Fort Wayne that gave I-5 the lead once again at 108-102.
But Fort Wayne has a greedy jammer of their own. Her name is Mak-Attack. And she was at her greediest in the 17th jam as she picked the lead up once again for Fort Wayne with a 13-4 decision that gave her squad the lead at 115-112.
But...you know...I-5 still has Lex Celerator at their disposal. And they shot her out of their cannon in the 18th jam and she did her thing by earning lead jammer and collecting a 4-0 tally that put I-5 back up by the score of 116-115.
The 19th jam started with exactly 2:02 left on the clock. The jammers were Lex Celerator for I-5 and Trademark for Fort Wayne. Both jammers were able to escape the pack, but neither had earned lead jammer status. Which meant this jam was going the whole two minutes! Lex Celerator was able to pick up 4 points for I-5, but during her second scoring pass she plowed into the Fort Wayne wall, thus resulting in what looked like a devastating back-blocking major. So with Lex Celerator heading off to the sin bin, Trademark continued her scoring run. Both teams packs were outstanding in this one, especially considering that during the entire two minutes, Lex was able to post only 4 points and Trademark wound up with 7, giving her team the lead at 122-120. However, near the end of the jam, Trademark ran I-5 blocker Hunt-Her Down over from behind. At first, it was the I-5 blocker who was called for the penalty. But after the jam was over, the refs discussed the decision and decided to penalize the Fort Wayne jammer, too.
Obviously, I-5 called a time-out once the 19th jam was over. So with 2 seconds left on the clock, Lex Celerator was standing in the penalty area with the jammers cap on while Trademark had just taken a seat next to her with the Fort Wayne jammers cap on. Once the two whistles blew, Lex Celerator skated around behind the pack and re-entered the game. She made her way through the first part of the pack, but then was greeted by Fort Wayne's ace blocking duo of Bad Kitty and Liv R. Die.
The battle of wills between the three girls almost seemed endless. Lex Celerator was pulling every trick out of her book to get around the two Fort Wayne blockers. But Bad Kitty and Liv R. Die almost always had an answer for her. They would wall-up and stop her in tandem. If Lex got around Kitty, Liv R. Die was there to corral her back in and vice-versa. Each skater also wound up and took their best shot at knocking the superstar I-5 jammer down to the wooden floor, but Lex took each of those hits, shook them off without falling down and continued on her mission. Finally after a couple laps of this, Lex Celerator was finally able to break free with lead jammer status.
But she didn't have a whole lot of time. The Fort Wayne jammer was up and ready to go in the penalty box. Lex Celerator hustled around the track and came up behind it. A quick move here, a nice block by her teammate there and she was through the pack. And once she got to the other side, she quickly called it off with a 5-0 grand slam decision to end the game. I-5 had claimed this exciting win by the score of 125-122.
Three Stars
3. Liv Vicious. Her blocking stats were equal to teammate Hunt-Her Down in this one (7 blocked jammers, 2 hole-opening blocks and a big hit). But what set her apart was her jamming exploits. She picked up 35 points in 7 jams for an average of 5 points per jam along with collecting I-5's only double-digit run of the game, the 12-0 decision in the 13th jam of the second half that gave I-5 one of their many leads of the night.
2. Bad Kitty. She led the entire game in blocking stats by collecting 12 blocked jammers, opening 2 holes for her jammers to cruise by a little easier and punished her I-5 opponents with 4 big hits that sent them crashing to the floor. She also chipped-in a little bit with the jammers cap on her noggin by picking up 4 points for Fort Wayne.
1. Lex Celerator. Fort Wayne actually did an outstanding job of containing perhaps the most dangerous jammer on the junior derby circuit. I'm not sure if she has gone an entire game without posting a single double-digit jam all the way through for at least a couple of years. But she still led the game with 71 points scored and collected the bout winning points by fighting through that legendary battle in the final jam of the game. The best players make their best plays when it counts most. And Lex Celerator definitely did that on Saturday night.
Key Jam of the Game
The benchmark of a GREAT game is when the "Key Jam" is the final jam of the game. It definitely was in this one as the Fort Wayne defense definitely made Lex Celerator earn those winning points with no time left on the game clock. Honestly, there are no words I could use to possibly describe exactly how dramatic that moment was.
Bad Girl of the Game
After earning the second star in Friday nights game against Seattle, Fort Wayne's Liv R. Die can also now lay claim to a "bad girl" title as she led this affair with 6 trips to the sin bin. She's still a great player, though. Mark her name down for future reference because if she sticks with the game, this won't be the last time you ever hear her name.
Stats
Jamming
I-5 (Jams - Lead Jammer - Jams in Box - Points)
Lex Celerator (19-14-4-71)
Liv Vicious (7-3-0-35)
Death By Beth (3-1-2-7)
Gory Locks (3-1-0-5)
Audrey Headburn (1-0-1-0)
Hunt-Her Down (6-3-2-9)
Smash Ketchum (1-0-0-0)
Rage E-Anna (1-0-0-3)
Fort Wayne (Jams - Lead Jammer - Jams in Box - Points)
Trademark (6-0-1-7)
Mak-Attack (12-4-1-50)
Bad Kitty (3-1-0-4)
Aussie Bossie (9-3-3-19)
Malibruise Barbie (2-0-0-5)
Cleo PAINtra (7-2-1-37)
Buttercup (2-1-0-0)
Blocking
I-5 (Blocked Jammers - Open Holes - Big Hits)
Keek the Freak (2-0-0)
Rage E-Anna (4-0-0)
Lex Celerator (2-0-0)
Fee Bee Sting (3-0-1)
Smash Ketchum (4-1-0)
Sierrated Blade (4-1-1)
Hunt-Her Down (7-2-1)
Gory Locks (5-3-0)
Liv Vicious (7-2-1)
Miss B. Haven (1-0-0)
Kitty Clawberator (1-0-0)
Audrey Headburn (5-1-1)
Fort Wayne (Blocked Jammers - Open Holes - Big Hits)
Hawaiin Punch (3-1-1)
Bad Kitty (12-2-4)
Cleo PAINtra (1-0-0)
Mak-Attack (0-1-0)
Buttercup (5-0-1)
Electra Cute U (2-0-1)
StingRay (1-0-0)
Liv R. Die (9-1-2)
Aussie Bossie (7-0-2)
Malibruise Barbie (3-1-1)
Trademark (3-3-0)
Penalties
I-5 (PIM)
Keek the Freak (1)
Rage E-Anna (1)
Lex Celerator (4)
Fee Bee Sting (2)
Smash Ketchum (1)
Sierrated Blade (2)
Hunt-Her Down (5)
Gory Locks (3)
Death By Beth (1)
Liv Vicious (2)
Kitty Clawberator (1)
Audrey Headburn (2)
Fort Wayne (PIM)
Hawaiin Punch (3)
Bad Kitty (3)
Cleo PAINtra (3)
Mak-Attack (1)
Buttercup (1)
Electra Cute U (4)
Liv R. Die (6)
Aussie Bossie (5)
KillHER Bee (1)
Cherry BombHER (2)
Trademark (1)
Complete Guide to Elwood's Stats
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Commentary time: as I've been saying all year, junior derby is the best derby going around here these days. If you want to see well played roller derby by players constantly giving it their all with extremely close scores at the end of 90% of the bouts played, then hit up a junior bout next time you see one advertised. If you're a roller derby fan but don't want to go see the juniors for whatever reasons you may have, you're cheating yourself, plain and simple.
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