This cliche is heard often, but it's true. Hurt-people do hurt people. That's the way of our sin. The only way to get out of this deal is to be dead. It will most likely happen every day of our lives until we die.
How to deal with pain inflicted upon us by others and healing is something with which God can help. Some points to realize are true of everyone:
All of us are broken because of the Fall. When Adam fell, all mankind fell with him. This leaves us in a broken state that only God can fix.
All of us sin (disobey God's commands) against others because we are sinned against. Sometimes this comes out of people with physical and emotional abuse (think passive-aggressive behavior). Others hold it in so long thinking anger is sin, they sweep it under the rug which only causes bitterness.
God loves us and it is possible to heal.
If we confess our sinfulness of wanting revenge, not praying for the person, or whatever else came along with our anger about those who have hurt, disappointed, and did not give us the care we needed, God will act. If we choose not to deal with our sinful reactions to hurt people hurting us, we lose. Losing involves pain, shattered relationships, and inner turmoil.
Anger without sin is possible, but not always the case. In fact, it's probably more rare than realized. Since everyone on this planet has been hurt and broken in some fashion (financial troubles, family problems, loss of jobs, loved ones, and more), people tend to hurt and break others, too.
How does one deal with this? Is our spouse, friend, co-worker, parent our enemy or is something lurking behind the person who has it out for us? Is Jesus Christ really for those who are hurting?
There's a very good video out that may help immensely. Whether one has minor problems or even such things as a serious marital problem, the place to start is not in a Christian "how to" book, but where Dr. John. Kleinig begins: at the heart and with the realization that there is a spiritual realm which does not want the best for God's people.
The video is Session 4, and from a presentation on The Spiritual Disciplines at the Michigan District, LCMS 2013 All Pastors' Conference. He discusses the Spiritual Warfare that God describes in the Bible along with why we hurt and what to do about the pain in our lives.
There are six sessions:
- Receptive piety
- Spiritual Warfare
- Devotional life
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil." - Ephesians 4.26,27 (ESV)
"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." - Romans 12.17-21 (ESV)
For more information about Dr. John Kleinig and his lectures, visit his website and biography.
Michigan District The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod. (n.d.). North & East Pastors' Conference 2013. Retrieved February 14, 2014, from http://www.michigandistrict.org/events/north-east-pastors-conference-2013