Human Ken dishing on Human Barbie – oh the depths of the superficial platitudes. The Human Ken, 33-year-old Justin Jedlica and his one-hundred plus plastic surgeries, ripped on his vainglorious counterpart, 28-year-old Human Barbie Valeria Lukyanova, saying he “just doesn’t get her.”
Umm, you’re not the only one Ken.
Eonline on April 7 has the scoop: “While we grew up with the idea that Ken and Barbie were the ideal couple—rolling around in their Beach Cruiser, strutting the latest fashion and living in a pink palace—such is not the case when it comes to Human Ken and Human Barbie.”
Said Jedlica to GQ: “We met at a photo shoot. She's a cute girl, but I don't really get her. I don't get why people think she's so interesting. She has extensions. She wears stage makeup. She's an illusionist.”
And he’s not?
Jedlica explains his plastic surgeries as if he is describing his children:
My baby is my shoulders, because nobody has anything like them. I divided these so there's six pieces—front, middle, and back. Just like the actual anatomy... I'm working with a silicone-fabrication company to do an artistic muscle-augmentation-implant line. So all the implants I'm paying custom for myself right now, like my shoulders, my quads, my abs, the lats...t hey'll hopefully be available to plastic surgeons.
We’ll give him this – while the Human Ken looks ridiculous, at least he’s not making headline news with talk of aliens, eating air, and a disgust with mixing races.
Valeria Lukyanova, the Human Barbie, will never have kids; they repulse her, almost as much as mixed races do. The 28-year-old Ukrainian model slash sideshow weighed in on children and different nationalities, telling GQ that the integration of ethnic groups have ruined standards of beauty.
When asked about children, Lukyanova's words reveal her immeasurable depths of superficiality:
It's unacceptable to me. The very idea of children brings out this deep revulsion in me... I'd rather die from torture because the worst thing in the world is to have a family lifestyle. I'm against feminism... what would you keep the children for? So they can get you a glass of water when you're on your deathbed?
With her vacuumed up 19-inch waist, skeleton-like arms, enormously augmented chest, strangely colored contact lenses and heavy, heavy makeup, Valeria has become analogous to the plastic Barbie doll that she so eminently worships.
Last month, Lukyanova said she had converted to Breatharianism, and no longer requires food.
Unlike many things that orbit the obtuse world of the wacky model, Breatharianism is an actual following – at least as defined by the fact that the outlandish teaching has adherents.
According to rationalwiki.org, Breatharianism is an old, new age idea that “one can live without food and drink, and subsist only off of ‘pranic light.’ According to practitioners, pranic light is accurate, channeled information from a huge invisible spaceship hovering over North America.”
Jedlica and Lukyanova evidently are quite content to dislike one another.
“Valeria presents herself as a real-life Barbie doll, but she is nothing more than an illusion who dresses like a drag queen,” Ken reportedly said. “Unlike me, who has spent nearly $150,000 permanently transforming myself into a human Ken doll, Valeria just plays dress up. But as soon as you wipe away all that makeup, she's just a plain Jane and there's absolutely nothing special about her.”
Why can't these dolls just get along?