Howard Stern is not easily impressed, and the litany of mediocre Super Bowl commercials from Sunday night's game were no excpetion.
Stern hated almost every major commercial of the night except his own, a 20 second spot for the new season of America's Got Talent.
See Howard Stern's Super Bowl commercial here
Read Howard Stern's critiques of the most popular Super Bowl 2012 commercials below:
1. CHRYSLER - 'IT'S HALFTIME IN AMERICA'
Stern thought Chrysler's two minute ad featuring Clint Eastwood was both boring and "pathetic":
"I know most people were very moved by Clint Eastwood, but to me that fucking thing, how long was that commercial?...I know it’s patriotic and Detroit came back, but it seemed pathetic to me—like, begging people to buy Detroit built cars [and not] 'I believe in Detroit because Detroit can build the best car.’…I don’t know, I thought the whole Clint Eastwood thing was a borefest.”
One might think an ad featuring scantily-clad-to-totally-naked chicks would be right up Howard Stern's alley, but the execution left Stern unaroused:
"Someone’s gotta tell GoDaddy that they need hotter chicks if they’re going to get the buzz they initially got. I remember the first time GoDaddy had a commercial, and it was so sexual it was almost off the charts...If you’re shooting Jillian the trainer from ‘Biggest Loser,’ don’t focus on her face. Her body is the thing. They gave you way too much face and not enough body. And Danica Patrick is not that hot…It wasn’t enough for me to go to the website. I used to be tricked and go to the GoDaddy website.”
Honda's ad featuring a gray-haired Ferris Bueller was supposed to trip America's nostalgia switch, but Howard Stern found it as depressing as looking in the mirror:
“Matthew Broderick was sort of sad, I thought, that commercial because he’s playing off the Ferris Bueller thing and you sit there the whole time and you go: ‘Oh my God. He doesn’t look anything like Ferris Bueller. There’s no way that guy was Ferris Bueller.” Like, you think someone kidnapped him…It’s like someone killed Matthew Broderick and they brought some other guy in.”
4. ACURA - JERRY SEINFELD VS. JAY LENO
This ad already had a big, fat strike against it by featuring Leno in it's punchline, but Stern swears he'd already checked out of the commercial by the time the Jay-us ex Machina occurred:
"That one must have been at least an hour…And I don’t believe that Jerry Seinfeld can’t get a car right away…It’s just too much."
5. EVERYTHING ELSE
Stern ripped into a slew of other Super Bowl ads which used concepts he never wants to see again:
“The award for commercials that have been done a million times and never should be done again [goes to]: Anything with monkeys acting like people, and then these polar bears! I was praying…I thought it could have been so cool if NBC could have made me pop into the frame and spray the polar bears…I remember the first year it came out it looked kind of cool technically…but I really don’t care about those polar bears. What are they drinking, Pepsi?...The monkeys acting like smart office people? I’ve seen that a million times, and anything with babies.”
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