Have you ever noticed a person who needs help but doesn’t know it? Perhaps she goes through life blaming her mate or early parental figure for the quality of her life. It is often easier to recognize issue’s in someone else then it is oneself. Denial, blame, rationalization are just a limited number of symptoms one can display to deny one’s reality. The ego feels much safer this way then seeing the truth.
The problem is it is harder to see our own defense mechanisms which hold one back from experiencing a great life. The number one sign to look out for is “telling a story”. When we tell a story it is almost always about a past event. Stories we continue to repeat represent unprocessed emotions which keeps one stuck in life.
Tom was surprised at work with divorce papers from Lisa. He continues to tell his story seven years later to anyone who will listen. He wants everyone to know how cold Lisa was for not having the decency to tell him herself that she wanted out. It is much easier to blame Lisa then to deal with reality. After attending three marriage counselors and never listening or making an effort Lisa left.
Tom continues to point fingers, blame, and spread negative gossip daily about his ex-wife. The toxic negative energy has him drinking more then ever and prevents a truly loving relationship from entering his life. Tom has self-sabotage behavior but is unaware of this pattern. Many people can deny good from coming in one’s life when displaying self-sabotage behavior.Unhealthy stories represent self-sabotage behavior.
If you continue to tell a story over and over again, how is it serving you? Does the story keep you from receiving love and joy in your life? Do you feel safer repeating this story which keeps love at bay and thus safe from being burned again in love?
Next, examine the stories your parents would tell. Perhaps you learned the traits from them. Stories are lies we tell our self which almost always lack the truth.
Everyone has a story they tell oneself in life. Examine your stories and see if they are working for you or against you in love. Many people would rather go through life without any form of self-reflection.The problem is this leads to a dull, boring, and passionless life.
Across America today there are millions who cannot love deeply again due to some painful story. Examine and reflect on your story and then let it go.
A life without love is dull and boring.