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How to survive the 4th of July…alone

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When relationships end, someone moves away, or your loved one has died, how do you spend the 4th of July alone? What if you had planned the 4th of July of your dreams, and it all came crashing down? How do you survive? You know you will have no fireworks in your life this 4th, no one to share a blanket with under the stars, and no one to even get to enjoy a syrupy snow cone with. The 4th of July is not only a patriotic day, but a romantic holiday. You may feel red, white and blue; your eyes may be red from crying; your feelings may be blue, and you may feel trapped by four white walls. Your mind may wonder is it always going to be like this? How can you keep your attention away from the depressing thoughts?

Many people do not mind being alone; they even prefer it. However, this article is not for them; it is for those of you that struggle with being alone.

You have decisions to make. A few bleak scenarios may be; to be alone in your home, and hear your neighbors having a good time, or driving a hundred miles to be with your family, but you know they will all comment on the twenty pounds you have gained.

This is not the holiday to torture yourself by hearing the laughter of others, or being criticized by family. Cook yourself a very non-traditional 4th of July food that you love, put headphones in your ears, and turn up the music loud, to drown out the noises. When you are alone, and it is not by choice, the fireworks may only sound as if the world is exploding, not celebrating. Do not let the day destroy you, no matter how your heart hurts, do not turn to thoughts of ending it all, holidays are hard, but the next day will be just another normal day.

You may be feeling scared. It is scary being alone. You may feel like a failure. Try to look deep inside of you for the solution to your feelings. They say all answers to our questions are buried somewhere within us.

Think about asking the animal shelter if you could volunteer that night. The 4th of July, is the most terrifying holiday of the year for animals. Hold the scared animals in your arms, and bring them comfort, the sounds of fireworks, are stressful to them. As they shudder in your arms, and you know you are calming their anxiety, they will also be doing the same for you in their own animal instinct way.

It will take courage for you to get through the day and night, but life can shrink, or it can blossom. Rely on your own valor to help you through the holiday. Your audacity may be what saves you from the dreaded black thoughts that enter your mind. If you find relief in writing, get out your journal, and express yourself freely. While writing in a journal, you can become your own best friend. If you are feeling brave, go to your local park to watch the festivities. Other people may be there alone, and hoping someone like you will come over, and talk to them. Remind yourself the worst thing that could happen is if you find no one, and begin to feel uncomfortable by yourself, you can always go home.

Another thing you can do is get on your computer, find a chat room, and you will begin to feel connected.

If you feel up to it, go outside, and if you have learned to be in the moment, just marvel at the exploding lights. Think about the freedoms we have in America. Change the messages you are giving yourself, tell yourself being alone tonight is relaxing and beautiful.

Life is waiting for you. The condition of today does not have to be the reality of tomorrow.

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